Advanced technology has brought many beneficial changes to the world. However, some old people today struggle with the use of technologies such as mobile phones and the Internet. How can the elderly benefit from using advanced technologies? How can the elderly be encouraged to use consumer electronics more often?
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Today's era is
era
of Add an article
the era
an era
techonology
. Correct your spelling
technology
Techonology
has completely changed our lives today, it has made every service available to mankind in just one click. Correct your spelling
Technology
However
it is really Add a comma
However,
imaportant
to keep ourselves updated with Correct your spelling
important
proper
understanding of how it can be used in order to get Add an article
a proper
the proper
it's
Replace the word
its
benefits
. Old people
in this
era are not able to properly utilise it's
Replace the word
its
benefits
because they do not know how to use
it. This
essay shall outline the benefits
of advanced techonology
for Correct your spelling
technology
elderly
and ways to encourage Correct article usage
the elderly
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
use
consumer electronics more frequently.
First and formost
, advanced Correct your spelling
foremost
techonology
is the greatest invention and a blessing to the grey population as Correct your spelling
technology
the
old age limits Correct article usage
apply
long
time standing and walking so Change the article
a long
instead
of going to the market and shopping ,groceries and other household items are just a click far
from them which gets the items directly to their doorstep. Rephrase
away
Secondly
, people
in old age often feel lonely when their friends and relatives are far away and their body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
don
not allow them to travel but now with the help of Correct your spelling
do
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
they can not only stay connected with their loved Capitalize word
Internet
one's
but Change noun form
ones
also
they can see and talk to them while
sitting in their own homes.Aditionally
, with Correct your spelling
Additionally
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
Correct your spelling
technology
techonology
they can Add a comma
techonology,
also
check their overall
health
, with the help of smart watches and smartphone
they can monitor their heart Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
health
and sleep etc.
To continue, elderly people
can be encouraged to use
the techonology
by doing seminars about how to Correct your spelling
technology
use
techonology
. Moving forwards young adults who are more familiar with the Correct your spelling
technology
techonlogy
should teach their parents and grandparents about its uses and Correct your spelling
technology
benefits
. Lastly
, healthcare providers should encourage and enlight
old Wrong verb form
enlighten
people
how
Change preposition
on how
this
old people
can use
it for improving
their Change preposition
to improve
health
.
To conclude
, modern techonology
is the biggest gift of science and using it will make Correct your spelling
technology
elderly
population's life easier Correct article usage
the elderly
keep
them closer to their loved ones and Wrong verb form
by keeping
monitor
their Wrong verb form
monitoring
health
they should be encoraged
to Correct your spelling
encouraged
use
it.Submitted by lovjotsandhu1 on
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grammar
Work on spelling and grammar: There are spelling errors such as 'techonlogy' (technology), 'imaportant' (important), 'foremost' (formost), and 'enlight' (enlighten). Correcting these will improve clarity.
development
Enhance idea development: There are several good points made, but some require more development or specific examples to reach higher levels. For example, explaining specific apps or features that assist the elderly can provide more vivid support to your points.
coherence
Improve paragraph transitions: To further improve coherence, use explicit linking words to guide the reader. For instance, using phrases like 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'For instance' would enhance the flow.
structure
Clear Introduction and Conclusion: Your essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
content
Relevant Points: The essay includes relevant ideas about how technology can benefit the elderly and how they can be encouraged to use it.
structure
Logical Structure: The essay is organized in a way that logically presents points regarding both the benefits and ways of encouragement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.