In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent times, many people who live in rural areas are moving to
cities
which caused a decrease in population
of Correct article usage
the population
countryside
. I believe Add an article
the countryside
this
is a negative development because of the problems
caused by this
event such
as overpopulation and economic problems
.
Nowdays
, many individuals are moving to Correct the word
Nowadays
cities
because of the opportunities and better life quality that are available in cities
. However
, getting overpopulated is one of the problems
that cities
are facing with
. Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, there are many things to be concern
about that are related to Wrong verb form
concerned
Correct article usage
the rise
rise
in the Change the verb form
rising
population
, for
example
there might be situations like pandemics that many people need health care Add a comma
example,
while
the need can not be satisfy
by the hospital and health Change the verb form
be satisfied
centers
because they did not design for that amount of Change the spelling
centres
population
.
Another reason why I believe this
is a negative development is that,
most of the individuals Remove the comma
apply
that
are moving to Correct pronoun usage
who
cities
are looking for jobs which at the
first Correct article usage
apply
it
seems Correct pronoun usage
apply
as
a positive thing but eventually it harms the Change preposition
like
overall
economic situation in that
Correct determiner usage
those
cities
because the rise in the demand would make a situation that employers pay their employee less than usual which lowers the consumer's earnings and eventually there will be a decline in consumer's spending which is not suitable for economy.
In conclusion, rural people are moving to cities
at an alarming rate and the population
in the countrysides
is decreasing. Personally, I believe Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
problems
like overpopulation, healthcare demand and economic problems
make this
a negative development which harms both cities
and rural areas.Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
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task achievement
Provide a wider range of specific examples or experiences to further illustrate your points. Using personal or observed real-life examples can strengthen arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. For example, use linking words or phrases to connect ideas from one paragraph to another.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the issue and states a position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a separate reason, maintaining a structured approach throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.