Some people believe that smoking is harmful for your health. Others, however, think that smoking brings profit to the country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some groups of

people

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think that smoking is the hardest hurt for the

health

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people

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while

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others believe that countries

take

Correct your spelling

make

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some profit from smoking. In my opinion, it is

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the truth

a truth

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truth

Replace the word

true

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that harmful

for

Change preposition

show examples

health

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, because it hurts lungers a lot,

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however

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however,

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it provides plenty of profits to the government

such

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as economic growth.

Firstly

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, many

people

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believe that smoking is harmful

for

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show examples

health

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This

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is because smoking can cause many serious diseases

such

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as lung cancer and heart

problem

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problems

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. When

people

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smoke

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, they

breath

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breathe

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in bad chemicals that can damage their

body

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bodies

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Also

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people

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who live with smokers

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also

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apply

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can be hurt by the

smoke

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, even if they do not

smoke

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This

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is called second-hand

smoke

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, and it is

also

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very dangerous. Because of

this

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, some

people

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think smoking should not be allowed everywhere to protect public

health

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. On the other side, some

people

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say that smoking helps the country because of

money

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. When

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peoples

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people

show examples

buy cigarettes, they pay

tax

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taxes

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, and

this

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money

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goes to the government.

This

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money

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can be used to build roads, schools, and hospitals.

Also

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, tobacco companies give jobs to many

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peoples

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people

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, so it helps them earn

money

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for their

family

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families

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For

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this

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reason, some

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peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

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think smoking is good for the economy and should not be banned. In my opinion, I think smoking is more bad than good. Even though it gives

money

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to the government, the

health

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problems it causes are very serious. Many

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peoples

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people

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get sick and need to go to

hospital

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the hospital

a hospital

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because of smoking, and

this

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costs a lot of

money

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too. It is better for

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peoples

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people

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to be healthy than to have extra

money

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from cigarettes. In conclusion, smoking has both bad and good points. It hurts

health

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but helps

economy

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the economy

show examples

. Still, I think it is better to focus on

health

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because it is more important than

money

Use synonyms

erkasiet2008Wed Nov 27 2024

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clarity

Improve the clarity of ideas by refining sentence structure and word choice. This will make the argument stronger.

examples

Include more specific examples and statistical data if possible to strengthen the essay's argument.

focus

Make sure every paragraph directly contributes to answering the task, focusing more on health and economy impacts.

introduction conclusion

Your essay presents a balanced introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and the two viewpoints.

logical structure

You have logically structured your essay with paragraphs dedicated to both sides of the argument, leading to a clear conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

309 words

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Some people believe that smoking is harmful for your health. Others, however, think that smoking brings profit to the country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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