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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the changes in production (millions)of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the changes in production (millions)of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#changes #production #millions #three #products #garment #factory #information #features #comparisons
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The
shown
Verb problem
apply
show examples
figure illustrates the amounts of changes in three different
productions
Use synonyms
 including
suit
Fix the agreement mistake
suits
show examples
,
Use synonyms
dress
Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
coat
Fix the agreement mistake
coats
show examples
 in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident from the information provided that total
Use synonyms
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
are
Verb problem
has
show examples
 increased dramatically over these years.
Although
Linking Words
 suit and
dress
Use synonyms
productions
Use synonyms
 experience
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 trends, the figure shows
coat
Use synonyms
 products
follows
Correct subject-verb agreement
follow
show examples
 a
marginally
Change the adverb
marginal
show examples
 climb.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
while
Linking Words
coat
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 began somewhere
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the vicinity of 6
million
Use synonyms
, it reached a low of 25
million
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
dress
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 experienced a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 fluctuation during
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 time.
While
Linking Words
 it started at 10
million
Use synonyms
productions
Use synonyms
 in 1990,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a bit of variation, it reached 15
million
Use synonyms
finally
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
However
Linking Words
,
coat
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 experienced an upward trend, it is noticeable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it was standing at the highest amounts of
production
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period, by nearly 20
million
Use synonyms
 increases over these years.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
dress
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 was the lowest position in terms of amounts of final
production
Use synonyms
 in 2010 among these figures
Submitted by mahanz on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words productions, dress, coat, production, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Production volume
  • Garment factory
  • Trend (increasing, decreasing)
  • Comparative analysis
  • Fluctuations
  • Market demand
  • Technological advancements
  • Production capacity
  • Raw material availability
  • Economic conditions
  • Notable observations
  • Significant shifts
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