IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#bar #people #museums #london #months #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited four types of museums in the months of
June
Use synonyms
, July, August, September and December in the year 2015.
overall
Linking Words
, most of the public visited the British
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 among other museums and the major proportion of
visitors
Use synonyms
 were seen in the
month
Use synonyms
 of August.
while
Linking Words
 the
month
Use synonyms
 of
June
Use synonyms
 and July shows
an almost similar numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
an almost similar number
almost similar numbers
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
, making them the least profitable months among others. The pattern of the British
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 shows fluctuations. starting from the
month
Use synonyms
 of
June
Use synonyms
 almost 410000
people
Use synonyms
 visited the British
Museum
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 number remained steady in the
month
Use synonyms
 of July as well, the graph showed its sudden peak in the
month
Use synonyms
 of August in which almost 710000
people
Use synonyms
 visited
this
Linking Words
museum
Use synonyms
, afterwards the graph showed declining pattern from almost 600000
people
Use synonyms
 to 450000 visited
this
Linking Words
museum
Use synonyms
. History
museum
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 showed a similar pattern of fluctuations in which nearly, 400000
visitors
Use synonyms
 visited the history
museum
Use synonyms
 from
June
Use synonyms
,
july
Change the capitalization
July
show examples
 and September,
while
Linking Words
 more than 600000
visitors
Use synonyms
 visited
this
Linking Words
museum
Use synonyms
 in the
month
Use synonyms
 of August.
visitors
Use synonyms
 of the national
museum
Use synonyms
 never crossed 200000
people
Use synonyms
 in these months. public figures visiting science museums almost remained below 400000 from
June
Use synonyms
 to December.
Submitted by dr.tehreemk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, june, museum, visitors, month with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: