Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What problems does this cause? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue?
Nowadays,
people
find it hard to balance their work
and other aspects of their life
. Most of the time
, they are unsuccessful in doing so and this
can result in stress and depression. There are several solutions employees
and government
can do to prevent this
imbalance.
First of all, balancing work
and personal life
is tough. It is even harder for people
in today's society as workplaces become even more competitive than before. As a result
, people
tend to focus more on their work
and
leaving nearly no room for their personal Correct word choice
apply
life
and this
leads to excessive stress. People
tend to pressure themselves to have the perfect life
and have the correct balance between work
and personal life
. When this
does not happen, they get stressed which causes bigger problems like permanent heart diseases or stomach problems like ulcers. Additionally
, this
imbalance causes depression. People
are social beings and they need to have a personal life
to socialize; however
, with only focusing on work
, they cannot make time
for socializing. This
results in them feeling depressed and lonely which can result in suicide. For example
, in Japan, a well-known country for workers
not having a life
outside their work
, the suicide percentage is at its highest and most of the people
are employees
.
To solve this
problem, employers
and the government
should work
together. In order to solve this
problem, employers
can allow workers
to work
from home
for some time
. Working from home
will allow employees
to have more time
to themselves by eliminating set work
hours and commuting time
. For instance
, there has been a survey done in Turkey which demonstrates how much
working from Correct quantifier usage
apply
home
for one day each week helped the workers
have a more balanced lifestyle between work
and personal life
. Furthermore
, the government
can motivate employers
to increase vacation time
allowing each worker to have more free time
which will allow them to make more time
for other aspects of their lives. To give an example, South Korea implemented a law about having 4-day work
weeks. The effects of the decreased work
days showed by
decreased suicidal attempts and a happier workplace.
Change preposition
apply
To sum up
, work
and personal life
balance is hard therefore
most people
cannot achieve it. This
imbalance results in excessive stress and depression in employees
. However
, it can be solved by employers
allowing workers
to work
from home
. Thus
, it can be solved by the government
by making regulations which will motivate employers
to give out more holidays to workers
.Submitted by nillaragulcelik on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to delve deeper into the task by also mentioning the positive effects of a balanced life.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using cohesive devices more frequently, such as 'moreover' and 'consequently'.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay does a good job at introducing and concluding the topic effectively, helping to encapsulate your ideas.
relevant specific examples
You provided a solid example with Japan, effectively linking it to your argument about the consequences of work-life imbalance.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?