Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What problems does this cause? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue?

#people #balance #work #part #lives

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Nowadays,

people

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find it hard to balance their

work

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and other aspects of their

life

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. Most of the

time

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, they are unsuccessful in doing so and

this

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can result in stress and depression. There are several solutions

employees

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and

government

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can do to prevent

this

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imbalance. First of all, balancing

work

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and personal

life

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is tough. It is even harder for

people

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in today's society as workplaces become even more competitive than before.

As a result

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people

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tend to focus more on their

work

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and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

leaving nearly no room for their personal

life

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and

this

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leads to excessive stress.

People

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tend to pressure themselves to have the perfect

life

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and have the correct balance between

work

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and personal

life

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. When

this

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does not happen, they get stressed which causes bigger problems like permanent heart diseases or stomach problems like ulcers.

Additionally

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this

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imbalance causes depression.

People

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are social beings and they need to have a personal

life

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to socialize;

however

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, with only focusing on

work

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, they cannot make

time

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for socializing.

This

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results in them feeling depressed and lonely which can result in suicide.

For example

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, in Japan, a well-known country for

workers

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not having a

life

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outside their

work

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, the suicide percentage is at its highest and most of the

people

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are

employees

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. To solve

this

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problem,

employers

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and the

government

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should

work

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together. In order to solve

this

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problem,

employers

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can allow

workers

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work

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from

home

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for some

time

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. Working from

home

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will allow

employees

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to have more

time

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to themselves by eliminating set

work

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hours and commuting

time

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For instance

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, there has been a survey done in Turkey which demonstrates how

much

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apply

show examples

working from

home

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for one day each week helped the

workers

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have a more balanced lifestyle between

work

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and personal

life

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Furthermore

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, the

government

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can motivate

employers

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to increase vacation

time

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allowing each worker to have more free

time

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which will allow them to make more

time

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for other aspects of their lives. To give an example, South Korea implemented a law about having 4-day

work

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weeks. The effects of the decreased

work

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days showed

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apply

show examples

decreased suicidal attempts and a happier workplace.

To sum up

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work

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and personal

life

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balance is hard

therefore

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most

people

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cannot achieve it.

This

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imbalance results in excessive stress and depression in

employees

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However

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, it can be solved by

employers

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allowing

workers

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work

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from

home

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Thus

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, it can be solved by the

government

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by making regulations which will motivate

employers

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to give out more holidays to

workers

Use synonyms

Submitted by nillaragulcelik on Wed Nov 27 2024

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task achievement

Try to delve deeper into the task by also mentioning the positive effects of a balanced life.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using cohesive devices more frequently, such as 'moreover' and 'consequently'.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay does a good job at introducing and concluding the topic effectively, helping to encapsulate your ideas.

relevant specific examples

You provided a solid example with Japan, effectively linking it to your argument about the consequences of work-life imbalance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
9
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

420 words

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Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What problems does this cause? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue?

Your opinion

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

If a product is good and meets customer needs,then people will buy it. So advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You’re visiting a town where you once worked. Write to a friend you worked with there. Include the following in your letter: Tell your friend about your life now Give him/her details of your visit Arrange how you can meet.

Some people prefer to live in hot climate; however, others prefer to live in cold regions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?