IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The given below pie chart shows the cultural and leisure Activities amongst boys’ and girls’. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The given below pie chart shows the cultural and leisure Activities amongst boys’ and girls’. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The provided two pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the survey results
according to
Linking Words
 girls and
boys
Use synonyms
 who engage in various sports activities.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the highest number of
boys
Use synonyms
 play computer games ,
while
Linking Words
 girls prefer dancing.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the least
prefarable
Correct your spelling
preferable
 activity
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 reading for
boys
Use synonyms
 and
listenning
Correct your spelling
listening
 to music
Add a missing verb
is girl's
show examples
girl's
Change noun form
girls'
show examples
less
Correct word choice
least
show examples
Use synonyms
interest
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
 activity. When considering
boys
Use synonyms
, 34%
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 intend to play computer games,
whereas
Linking Words
 only 2% like
for reading
Change preposition
to read
show examples
. The second most popular activity is basketball
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
 males, which is 26%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 27% female population has
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
interest
Use synonyms
 in dancing,
while
Linking Words
 they show less
preferance
Correct your spelling
preference
 for both gymnastic (11%) and listening to music (10%).
Moreover
Linking Words
, both males and females
equally
Add a missing verb
are equally
show examples
Use synonyms
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 listening to music, which is 10% but females like
ten
Correct pronoun usage
it ten
show examples
 times more than
boys
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading.
However
Linking Words
,
boys
Use synonyms
 show nearly two times
Use synonyms
interest
Correct quantifier usage
more interest
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer games than females.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, interest with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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