IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #percentage #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton #information #features #comparisons
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The polyline graph illustrates the proportion of visitors who visited
Use synonyms
Art
Correct article usage
an Art
show examples
Use synonyms
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
,
Use synonyms
pavilion
Fix the agreement mistake
pavilions
show examples
,
pier
Fix the agreement mistake
piers
show examples
 and
festrival
Correct your spelling
festival
festivals
 in England especially Brighton from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
Use synonyms
pavilion
Correct article usage
the pavilion
show examples
 and festival were more attractions to visitors than other places.
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
gallery
Use synonyms
 and pier
showes
Correct your spelling
show
 the lower
pescentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 among the four attractions.
To begin
Linking Words
, In 1980, the
perceatage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of tourists in
Use synonyms
pavilion
Correct article usage
the pavilion
show examples
 and festival were around 24% and 30% respectively. The proportion of
Use synonyms
pavilion
Fix the agreement mistake
pavilions
show examples
 increased reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 approximately 48% by 1995 and
then
Linking Words
 dramatically declined to 35% in 2000.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
 slightly dropped to about 24% by 1995 and
then
Linking Words
 slowly grew to 28% in 2000 and remained steady from 2000 to 2010 . In detail, the percentage of tourists to Pier was 10% in 1980 and
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 a peak
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 21% by 2010. The
Last
Linking Words
 place was
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
gallery
Use synonyms
,
started
Correct pronoun usage
which started
show examples
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 21% by 1980 and rapidly climbed to 38% in 1985
surpassed
Wrong verb form
surpassing
show examples
Use synonyms
pavilion
Correct article usage
the pavilion
show examples
 and festival.
However
Linking Words
, in 1985,
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
gallery
Use synonyms
 percentage sharply decreased and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the lowest percentage
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 9% in 2010 .
Submitted by Loody on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words art, gallery, pavilion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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