A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The majority of
people
believe that a nation turns up to be enjoyable and develops Use synonyms
more
faster if the Change the word
apply
population
is mixed with different cultures and Use synonyms
individualsfrom
different countries. Correct your spelling
individuals from
This
essay will completely disagree because of Linking Words
over
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
population
and Use synonyms
spread
of diseases.
Correct article usage
the spread
To begin
with, I do not believe that Linking Words
mixture
of nationalities Correct article usage
a mixture
make
the Change the verb form
makes
country
interesting and developed. Use synonyms
However
, it normally leads to Linking Words
over
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
population
. When there are a lot of foreigners are allowed to enter Use synonyms
in
a Change preposition
apply
country
, Use synonyms
people
will Use synonyms
over crowd
the nation to an extent that some individuals will lack shelter and Correct your spelling
overcrowd
other
will lack what to eat. The State will fail to budget for the Fix the agreement mistake
others
country
since families will be many. Use synonyms
For example
, research done by Mr Rashid Linking Words
at
China showed that Chinese are congested Change preposition
in
due to
many foreigners. Linking Words
As a result
, Chinese a limited to the number of children to deliver.
Linking Words
Secondly
, I disagree with the fact that mixed Linking Words
people
can lead to development and enjoyment Use synonyms
instead
it causes Linking Words
spread
of disease. If different tourists visit one nation, they come in with various eating habits, Add an article
the spread
behaviors
and diseases which puts the natives at risk Change the spelling
behaviours
of
in terms of health. Outbreaks of various illnesses start. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, when many refugees came Linking Words
in
Uganda, an Outbreak of Ebola and cholera existed Change preposition
to
hence
leaving Ugandans unhealthy and Linking Words
other
dead. Another example is that Fix the agreement mistake
others
Corena
virus was transmitted through Correct article usage
the Corena
people
migrating from one place to another.
In conclusion, even though some individuals believe that mixed races Use synonyms
develops
the Change the verb form
develop
Country
faster and Use synonyms
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
interests
, I disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
interest
this
statement since it causes diseases and Linking Words
over
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
population
. I recommend that the government should limit the number of foreigners entering Use synonyms
in
a new place.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by jmeeme5 on
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task achievement
Clarify and develop your main points with additional reasoning and examples. Provide a more balanced argument by considering and refuting opposing views.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates to the task question.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument regarding mixed populations and their impacts on a country.
task achievement
The essay asserts main points, such as overpopulation and disease spread, providing a direct stance on the argument presented in the question.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?