IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Will see homeless people in the society, few people support them with food and money and few are against. What is your opinion on this.

#people #society #support #food #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to
 the increase in goods prices and housing
prices
Add a comma
prices,
show examples
 a lot of
people
 are becoming homeless. We have some generous
people
 in our country who constantly support them by
provind
Correct your spelling
providing
 food and other basic things.
However
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of actions are not enough,
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
 government must take some steps in order to solve
this
 issue. First of all, we can not thank
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 who are extremely generous in providing constant support to
people
 who are in need. As an
exaple
Correct your spelling
example
, a lot
big
Change preposition
of big
show examples
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
business
 owners donate some profit
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 helping homeless
people
 by providing them
food
Change preposition
with food
show examples
 and clothes.
Apart from
this
, there are some private organizations
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 usually assist in raising funds for
people
 who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not have
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
. Which is really an effective approach to
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
this
 issue.
However
, the role of the government in
this
 process can not be
neglceted
Correct your spelling
neglected
. Because
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has the authority to change
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 they have resources
,
Correct word choice
and, budget
show examples
budget
Correct article usage
a budget
show examples
.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they should come forward to mitigate
this
 issue.
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
 everything that has been stated so far, the concern of homeless
people
 is being faced by countries all around the world.
Submitted by amandeepkour02301 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Focus on providing a clear overall stance and develop your arguments with more depth and clarity. Ensure that specific examples directly support your points.
coherence cohesion
Enhance transitions between ideas to ensure they flow seamlessly. Use linking words effectively to guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples, possibly from various perspectives, to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully introduced the issue and concluded with a summary.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both individual and government roles in tackling homelessness, showing understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: