Some people believe that visitors to other country should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

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It is believed that tourists who

visits

Change the verb form

visit

show examples

country

Use synonyms

should

adapt

Correct your spelling

adopt

show examples

local wisdom

while

Linking Words

some argue that the host

country

Use synonyms

should respectfully for cultural diversity. Despite the latter statement could be beneficial, personally, I think that it is more important to know and respect any kind of ground rules and conventions among the local residents. On the one hand, in

this

Linking Words

modern age, every nation should welcome

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

any

culture

Use synonyms

in terms of their support for cultural diversity. Through

this

Linking Words

way,

there

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will many people become interested in visiting the

country

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the fact that their identity will not denied but will accepted in the

provincial

Replace the word

province

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which they want to explore.

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

approach will

also

Linking Words

contribute a significant impact on international understanding, where people could know each other through their

culture

Use synonyms

Conversely

Linking Words

, international understanding is not solely about being a very welcome

country

Use synonyms

to accept any strict customs. Every human being still could preserve their

country

Use synonyms

by protecting and preventing any kind of other

culture

Use synonyms

from replacing their own practice

due to

Linking Words

over-welcoming trends. Toraja Tribe in Celebes, Indonesia, is one of the best examples, where foreign values have started to replace their own

culture

Use synonyms

. By

this

Linking Words

example, it is essential for everyone, to preserve and continue their identity in terms of their local wisdom where everyone should be respectful and follow it when they want to be visitors. Taking everything into account, it seems to me that every visitor should respect any kind of local wisdom in the

country

Use synonyms

that they visit, not only to respect the local

resident

Fix the agreement mistake

residents

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but

also

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to make sure that the local customs will be sustainable for the next generation and the most importantly for International understanding which applied in the way they follow the local rules.

k a l l aWed Jul 24 2024

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task achievement

The introduction could be improved for clarity. Ensure that the thesis statement clearly outlines both positions to be discussed.

task achievement

Some points in the essay could be developed further with more detailed examples and clearer links between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance the clarity of your arguments. There were some grammatical errors that affected readability.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use more cohesive devices to link ideas effectively.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and includes a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion.

task achievement

The example of the Toraja Tribe is relevant and supports the argument about preserving local wisdom.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Some people believe that visitors to other country should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the government should invest more in public health and less in other areas such as education and infrastructure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this topic? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand?

In this present time, CCTV is widely used in public areas in many cities for crime prevention. Whereas some humankind consider this measure to be an invasion of privacy, I contend that the advantages of using video cameras surpass its disadvantages.

Psychologists have known for many years that colors can affect how people feel. For this reason, attention should be given to color schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals. How true is this statement? How far does color influence people’s health and capacity for work?