In many countries, the government spend a large amount of money on arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
The phenomenon of governments
tend
to use large amounts of money on Wrong verb form
tending
arts
-related aspects of life has led to the division of two contrary opinions. For some, they are in agreement. Nevertheless
, others believe that it would be more beneficial for the money to be exploited on
Change preposition
for
health
and education
. Frankly, my personal view is somewhere in the middle, and thus
, the following points made will be dedicated to the clarification of my thought
.
On the Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
one
hand, arts
have always been known for its
advantages towards entertainment and self-relief. Basically, living in Correct pronoun usage
their
such
a fully occupied era like the 21st century, daily grinds appear to be an inevitable part of individuals’ life
, whether young age or not. Specifically, in Japan, known for its intense levels of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
working
, many would actually suffer from exhaustion Replace the word
work
and
Correct word choice
apply
therefore
, leading to higher demise rates. However
, arts
are different. It could somehow, at some points, act as a life savior
or motivation for some people to continue their journey, particularly because they found ease and a push in relieving strain when dealing with laughter or a mind of not having to be frightened by deadlines. Change the spelling
saviour
Hence
, the method of spending more money on arts
is utterly crucial, since it helps ameliorate citizens’ mental health
and as a result
, less severely heart-broken cases.
On the other hand
, it would be foolish to put two leading factors in terms of thriving a country
aside,
and mainly focus on just Remove the comma
apply
one
aspect. Education
is what
regarded as a rocket in flying individuals, especially for succeeding generations, to reach out for more wonders Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct pronoun usage
that existed
existed
throughout the planet. And again, making the development of Wrong verb form
exist
one
nation to be enhanced even more. One
proof to showcase this
is Vietnam. As history has mentioned, Vietnam, a country
from 90% of people having
no skills Wrong verb form
have
of
literacy, to now a Change preposition
in
country
that has fulfilled beloved
Ho Chi Minh president’s words, which means more than roughly 90% of the citizens interpret how to read and write. What about Correct article usage
the beloved
health
? Education
may serve as a base to propel individuals in structuring the country
, while
for health
, without it, human beings are definitely not capable of almost anything, or if yes, then
they have to strive even harder just to stand at a finish line that others can achieve easily, .
In short, Change the punctuation
,
.
education
and health
are what make a country
exist in a
long run.
In conclusion, with regard to Correct article usage
the
arts
, health
, and education
, they are all crucial for inhabitants’ quality of their lifestyle. Without just one
element, countries may face harsher challenges and results, especially for education
and health
, as they are the top reasons why a nation could
survive consistently.Wrong verb form
can
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clarity
Be careful with complex sentence structures as they can sometimes lead to unclear expression. Try to simplify sentences where possible to enhance clarity.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and directly supports your thesis. This can help improve the logical flow of your essay.
introduction
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your balanced perspective, setting the stage for the discussion.
examples
You provide specific examples, such as the situation in Japan and Vietnam, which help to illustrate your points effectively.
conclusion
The essay ends with a strong conclusion that succinctly summarizes the main points discussed.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.