Some people say that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not need. Others say that advertisements are important sources of information about new products. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some individuals are of the opinion that
people
purchase
products
that they do not need through advertising. Others,
nevertheless
,say that
advertisements
are the
value
Replace the word
valuable
show examples
sources of
informafion
Correct your spelling
information
about the newly launched
products
. In
this
essay, I would
evalue
Correct your spelling
value
evaluate
both schools of thought before proposing my own perspective on
this
matter. On the one hand, there are many reasons why some
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that advertising
made
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
buy some
products
not
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
for their life. Through attractive and creative
advertisements
,
people
are curious, so they
are
Verb problem
can
show examples
easily buy advertised
products
without caring whether it is necessary or not.
Moreover
, the number of
people
have a
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
that collecting items
such
as fashion, stamps and antiques.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
in fashion,
people
can spend a wide range of money to buy some items with the same design but different in colour.
For example
, many
artist
Change to a plural noun
artists
show examples
in Vietnam or in the world have 10 dresses with one design and their purpose is
decoratation
Correct your spelling
decoration
, not wear.
On the other hand
,
oppoments
Correct your spelling
opponents
of the previous view claim that the
information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
new
products
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
provided by
advertisements
.
Firstly
,
ad
Add an article
the ad
an ad
show examples
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
tool
helps
Correct pronoun usage
that helps
show examples
connect customers with
products
, so companies want advertising to convey the most true
information
about the items of consumption.
Therefore
, the sources of
information
become more accurate and reliable.
Secondly
,
these
Change the determiner
this information
show examples
information
can support
people
make decisions about the
products
they want. Customers can search the news through
advertisements
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the internet like
page
Add an article
a page
the page
show examples
of
this
product, google, and
tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
, so choose the
products
suitable with themself. In conclusion, I maintain the viewpoint that
advertisements
are important sources of
information
about new
products
.
In addition
, customers should choose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reliable
advertisements
to buy real
products
.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples. For instance, give examples of particular advertisements that have influenced consumer behavior.
task achievement
Be cautious about minor spelling or grammatical errors such as "informafion" instead of "information" and "oppoments" instead of "opponents." Although these don't heavily impact your score, being meticulous can ensure clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively presents both views and sets up the discussion by clearly stating your plan to evaluate and provide your perspective.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of linking phrases such as "On the one hand..." and "On the other hand..." helps in organizing the essay logically, making it easy to follow the progression of your argument.
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