IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year.

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year.
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The two pie charts give information about the total amount of energy consumed all over the world
as well as
Linking Words
 the ways in which
electricity
Use synonyms
 was generated
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
percetage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of energy consumed was from oil with 34.4%,
while
Linking Words
 the largest
electricity
Use synonyms
 generation came from coal which stood for 39.8%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both the least consumed source of energy and the smallest production of
electricity
Use synonyms
 were represented by other sources. Regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
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consumption, coal was the second main source, indeed it accounted for 25.1%.
In addition
Linking Words
, gas stood
also
Linking Words
 for more than 20%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, all the other sources stood for less than 10%, except for combustible renewables and waste
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 accounted for 10.6%. Looking at
electricity
Use synonyms
 production, all the other resources accounted for less than half of coal.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, gas, hydro and nuclear stood for respectively 19.6%, 16.1% and 15.7%.
However
Linking Words
, oil and other sources accounted for less than 10%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, combustible renewables and waste were not used as
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 for
electricity
Use synonyms
 generation.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 4 times.
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