IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

What are the benefits of living in big cities, as opposed to rural areas? What are the problems of rural areas, and how can they be solved?

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In the modern era,
people
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 who live in cities have more benefits than in villages. And is affecting rural
areas
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. There are some problems like agriculture production is letting down, economically poor. we will discuss in
this
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 essay with solutions.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 who live in big cities for their
development
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 but it has opposed the rural
areas
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, especially agriculture is the backbone of our country, here we lose the production in a
village
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.
For instance
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, recently the government has announced that agricultural farmers are decreasing by 4% compared to the
last
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 five years, if
this
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 repeats, we will lose the food manufacturing process.
Additionally
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, in villages schools, colleges and transport systems are dumped
due to
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 many
people
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 going to the
city
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 with family for their career growth so economically in rural
areas
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 are letting down quickly, and is not encourageable for
development
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.
On the other hand
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, there are some solutions to solve the problems for rural
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Change noun form
areas'
area's
show examples
areas
Change noun form
areas'
show examples
development
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. The government should take care of the
people
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 who are living in the villages, they need to construct schools, colleges, factories and enough facilities for the
people
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.
For instance
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, one of my cousins lives in a
village
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, that area has a lot of facilities to have for the
people
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 so he and his family have not gone to the
city
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 side.
Apart from
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this
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,
people
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 who live in a
village
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 have to work more for their
village
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 to develop than a
city
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. In my opinion, I would recommend living in a
village
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 has more benefits for growth.
To conclude
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,
people
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 who live in the
city
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 have more benefits and in a
village
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 there are some problems like agricultural
development
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as well as
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 economic
development
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 but the government taking better actions to prevent
people
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 from migrating to the
city
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 and they have to develop a
village
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, following these to be more advantages for a
village
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 growth.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize each paragraph around a single clear idea, making sure that your main points are distinct and well-developed.
Introduction/Conclusion
Some improvements can be made to ensure the introduction and conclusion clearly state and summarize your points respectively.
Relevant Specific Examples
Some examples provided are not very specific. Consider using more concrete examples to support your arguments effectively.
Task Achievement
You clearly addressed the comparison between rural and urban living and discussed relevant problems and solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've presented a reasonable structure in your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Supported Main Points
You focused well on the impact of rural depopulation on agriculture and economy, addressing critical points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Amenities
  • Employment opportunities
  • Healthcare services
  • Educational institutions
  • Public transport
  • Social interactions
  • Quality of life
  • Specialized skills
  • Diverse industries
  • Medical care
  • Concentration
  • Infrastructure
  • Government investment
  • Internet connectivity
  • Local businesses
  • Community building
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