The picture below shows the life cycle of the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the stages of development that a
salmon
passes through during its lifetime.
Overall
, it can be seen from the picture that there are four stages in
this
process from the initial eggs to the final
adult
salmon
. First of all, the
adult
salmon
lays its eggs in the upper slow-moving water. The spawn rests in the cover of reeds under the small stones. After that approximately five to six months later the eggs start to hatch and
fry
are released. The
fry
is between the length
3
Change preposition
of 3
show examples
-8 cm. Unlike spawn,
fry
lives in the lower fast-flowing water, which is
also
called an Estuary.
Subsequently
,
fry
turns into smolt after almost 4 years. Smolt are 12-15 cm long and they travel to the open sea where smolt
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
converted to
adult
salmon
after nearly 5 years.
Finally
, the
adult
salmon
are the longest among all stages and the length is from 70-76 cm.
Submitted by taliyarifat on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the use of linking words and phrases to improve the structural flow of the essay. This will enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Provide more specific comparisons or highlight differences between stages where relevant to strengthen task achievement.
task achievement
The essay clearly outlines the main stages of the salmon life cycle, showing a good overall understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively summarize the stages of the salmon life cycle.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically presented, making it easy for the reader to follow the progression of the life cycle.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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