Some people think that the best way to stay fit is joining a gym or health clubs. While others think That doing everyday activities such as walking or climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both aspects give Your Own opinion

It is often argued that the proper way to stay strong and healthy is to commence a
gym
or fitness
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
,
while
others argue that engaging in daily
activities
including jogging or stair climbing.
Although
doing day-to-day
activities
is cost-free, I believe that starting
gym
activities
provides easy access to different
machines
which helps individuals to get the best results. On the one hand, the advocates of the idea
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
performing daily routine
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
believe that they are not required to pay for getting
exercise
. They can spend
these money
Change the determiner
this money
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
other household tasks. As an example, a survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
conducted by
Exercise
Correct article usage
an Exercise
show examples
physiologist revealed that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women prefer to do daily walking exercises to save money on
gym
memberships.
However
, I do not believe that these
activities
help them to achieve
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
results.
On the other hand
, the opponents
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hold the view that joining the fitness centers
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
them to continue
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercising
show examples
because they can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various
machines
and
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to do different
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
. As
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
can
strength
Replace the word
strengthen
show examples
every group of muscles using
machines
even they can do cardio and balance
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
as well. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, most of the gyms in Australia have
full
Add an article
a full
the full
show examples
set of
machines
for addressing the anatomy of muscles. I believe
this
view has more benefits to individuals
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
in
Change the article
a healtheir
show examples
healtheir
Correct your spelling
healthier
manner. In conclusion,
although
following daily
activities
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
money, starting
gym
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
can achieve
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
results
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
of the chance of accessing
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of
machines
which help to activate all muscles.
Submitted by surangaprasad90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence of your essay, aim to create stronger links between paragraphs and ensure each idea flows seamlessly into the next. Transition words and phrases can be useful here.
task achievement
Make sure to address the pros and cons of both sides more evenly in order to create a more balanced discussion, thus fulfilling the task achievement criteria effectively.
task achievement
Consider incorporating more detailed and specific examples to clearly illustrate your points. This can help to strengthen your argument and task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: