IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar charts below show the Marriage and Divorce Statistics for nine countries in 1981 and 1994. Write a short report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar charts below show the Marriage and Divorce Statistics for nine countries in 1981 and 1994. Write a short report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who married and divorced in the USA, the
UK
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
, Finland,
Germany
Use synonyms
, France, Italy and
Denmark
Use synonyms
 from 1981 to 1994.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that marriage
statistics
Use synonyms
 declined in all countries except
Denmark
Use synonyms
 it increased.
While
Linking Words
 the divorce statistic climbed except in the USA and
Denmark
Use synonyms
 dropped
while
Linking Words
Germany
Use synonyms
 remained steady during the time period.
To begin
Linking Words
, in the USA the
number
Use synonyms
 of marriages and divorces was exactly the same, reaching a peak of approximately 10, 5
thousand
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 decreasing to 9000 by 1981 and 1994.
furthermore
Linking Words
, marriage
statistics
Use synonyms
 slightly declined in the
UK
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
, Finland,
Germany
Use synonyms
, France and Italy throughout the whole frame time.
In Contrast
Linking Words
,
Denmark
Use synonyms
 was the only Country which showed growth in their marriage Statistic of around 5
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 1981 to 6,5
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 1994 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 1981, the divorce
Statistics
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 3.8 and 1.2
thousand
Use synonyms
 respectively.
then
Linking Words
 rise to over 3000 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and in
Japan
Use synonyms
 1,4
thousand
Use synonyms
 by 1994.
As well as
Linking Words
 , in Finland, France and Italy the
number
Use synonyms
 of divorces increased from 1981 to 1994. In
Germany
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of divorces
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
 Steady
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 exactly 2
thousand
Use synonyms
 in the whole time period.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in
Denmark
Use synonyms
, the
statistics
Use synonyms
 slowly Climbed between 1981 and 1994 from about 2,9 to 2,8
thousand
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, uk, japan, germany, denmark, statistics, thousand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: