Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
A group of
people
believe that,
advertising is an effective way to influence Remove the comma
apply
people
to buy products. While
,
others say that Remove the comma
apply
advertisement
is too common that people
do not recognize as
it is. In Correct pronoun usage
it as
this
essay, I will discuss about
both perspectives, why Remove the preposition
apply
advertisement
is so successful and why many people
ignores
it.
Nowadays, advertising Change the verb form
ignore
became
much more sufficient than before and it has a great impact on our mood to buy something. Wrong verb form
has become
This
is happening because of digital marketing, which is well recognized
throughout the world Add a hyphen
well-recognized
due to
it's easy
Correct your spelling
its ease
to
use. We can advertise our product Change preposition
of
in
many social media Change preposition
on
platform
and get data from social networks that will help to target our customers Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
as well
as
through digital marketing we can efficiently show our Correct word choice
apply
advertisement
to right
Correct article usage
the right
people
those who will be interested or our target clients. For example
, social media like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram offers a variety of advertisement
option
to the advertiser. Fix the agreement mistake
options
Therefore
, consumer
gets their preferred Add an article
the consumer
a consumer
advertises
and purchase the product with interest. I think Replace the word
advertisements
this
system is a great use for business people
those
who want to sell their beneficial products to the customer directly.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
On the other hand
, many people
ignore advertises
because those who created those Replace the word
advertisements
advertises
they were not really Replace the word
advertisements
targeted
Wrong verb form
target
a
particular customers, Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
because
of that so many Correct word choice
and because
people
get some
annoying Correct quantifier usage
apply
advertisement
which is not appropriate for every customer. So, general Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
people
ignore advertise
Wrong verb form
advertising
due to
non-professional advertisers.
In conclusion, some people
consider advertisement
as an impactful process to encourage people
to buy their products in contrast
, many people
avoid it because it's so common at this
moment. In my opinion, marketers should target their customers before advertising their things, that will solve the issue, as
a result, Correct word choice
and as
Add an article
the customer
a customer
customer
won't be offended by any Fix the agreement mistake
customers
advertises
.Replace the word
advertisements
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on
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coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a consistent and clear argument throughout the essay. While the introduction outlines the two perspectives clearly, the body paragraphs could benefit from more cohesion between ideas and clearer transitions.
task achievement
Ensure each perspective is discussed with equal depth. You provided some insights into both views, but further elaboration and distinct separate paragraphs for each view might strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to illustrate your points. More precise examples could enhance the persuasive effect of your essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion of both views, outlining the differing opinions on advertising.
introduction conclusion
You concluded with a clear opinion, providing a potential solution to the issue discussed, which ties the essay together.
task achievement
You addressed the main points of the prompt, discussing both the success of advertising and the reasons people might ignore it.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.