IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many countries have the same shops and products. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#minutes #countries #shops #products #consider #development
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With the development of
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
, the requirements of shopping for residents are more and more necessary so that there are many same shops and
goods
 in many countries. Some
people
 believe that it brings lots of benefits to customers.
However
, others think it is negative. I would agree that
this
 problem has both advantages and disadvantages. First of all, having many same stores and
products
 in different places helps
people
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
buy anything they what
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 do not have to move a long distance. It makes individuals
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 less time and money on travelling and easily find
their
Change the word
the
show examples
goods
 that they need. In
additions
Fix the agreement mistake
addition
show examples
, the appearance of
this
 trend can improve
income
Add an article
the income
show examples
 of
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 because of the fact that they can have enough
products
 to sell
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
.
On the other hand
,
this
 problem has many disadvantages. Having too
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many of
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 shops and
products
 can create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong competition, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
 try to buy more and more trending
goods
, which leads to having too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 necessary things
and
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 become trash.
Moreover
, it makes buyers waste their money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 many
products
 which may be not useful. In condition, having the same stores and
goods
 in many
diferrent
Correct your spelling
different
 countries is suitable. It can improve human life by increasing their income and
brings
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
 them convenience.
However
, it
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many disadvantages because of the competition of buying popular
products
 and waste money.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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relevant specific examples
Consider integrating specific examples to support your points and make your argument more compelling.
clear comprehensive ideas
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single, clearly defined point and develops it fully.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay presents both views on the topic and offers a conclusion, which reflects a balanced structure.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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