At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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In some countries today, the population includes a significantly higher number of young adults compared to older individuals.
While
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

acknowledging the drawbacks of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

demographic shift, I firmly believe that these can not prevail over the benefits Granted, there are some significant disadvantages to having a youthful population. One main challenge is the contemporary shortage of skilled experts, which can hinder the development of key industries and infrastructure.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Vietnam, the construction of the subway heavily relies on commissioned foreign experts due the the lack of qualified local professionals. Additionumber of students, universities and colleges need to pay more for the expansion of their infrastructure
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as lecture halls, dormitories, libraries, and recreational facilities, which
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require

It seems that the verb requires does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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substantial financial investments. Despite negatives to a certain extent, the benefits of having a significant proportion are believed to be enormous.
First,
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a youthful population plays a pivotal role in driving innovation and creativity. Younger demographics tend to be more open-minded, adaptable, and willing to experiment with new ideas, contributing to the economic and technological advancement of any nation.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a large figure of young adults could
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

increase consumption and market growth. To exemplify, young people drive demand in various sectors, including food, fashion, technology, entertainment, and education, creating a dynamic consumer market and providing businesses with opportunities to grow and create more jobs. In conclusion, despite the short-term drawbacks of the large young community regarding the contemporary shortage of skilled experts and a higher budget for tertiary education , I contend that these could be eclipsed by the merits of innovation and market growth.

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coherence cohesion
Although your essay is well-structured and ideas flow logically, make sure all points are supported by specific evidence or examples, as some claims could benefit from further elaboration.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points, especially when talking about job creation and market growth, to strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction that sets the context for the discussion and outlines your stance effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reiterates your position in the debate, providing a strong finish to the essay.
complete response
You have presented a balanced view by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages, which demonstrates a thoughtful approach to the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your writing successfully presents clear and comprehensive ideas, making your argument easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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