Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals think that reading a
book
Use synonyms
is better than playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
or watching television for
children
Use synonyms
, I
tottaly
Correct your spelling
totally
agree with
this
Linking Words
statement. Admittedly,
children
Use synonyms
are reading
stories
Use synonyms
from a
book
Use synonyms
, because they are realize
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
better than watching
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
or playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, books
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
improve
overlook
Correct article usage
the overlook
show examples
of young
children
Use synonyms
. As, reading
stories
Use synonyms
from a
book
Use synonyms
is
esay
Correct your spelling
easy
essay
for
children
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
stories
Use synonyms
are adventure, entertainment and fascinating.
Moreover
Linking Words
, reading
stories
Use synonyms
from a
book
Use synonyms
is better than reading horror films.
Atmosphere
Add an article
The atmosphere
An atmosphere
show examples
of
stories
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
colorful and more attractive
On the other hand
Linking Words
, watching
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
or playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
are not adequate
convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
for young generations.
This
Linking Words
is because,
children
Use synonyms
's bodies are harmful, especially,to their eyes.
In addition
Linking Words
, watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
or playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
are waste of time.
Therefore
Linking Words
, reading
stories
Use synonyms
from a
book
Use synonyms
is better than playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
or watching television shows or films for young girls and boys.
Children
Use synonyms
should not
playing
Change the verb form
play
be playing
show examples
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
or
watching
Change the verb form
watch
be watching
show examples
movies. In conclusion, reading
stories
Use synonyms
from a
book
Use synonyms
is better than watching movies,
Correct word choice
or cartoon
show examples
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
show examples
or playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
a laptop or computer.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more clear and specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the depth of your response.
coherence and cohesion
Work on connecting sentences smoothly. Use a variety of linking words to create seamless transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your position and summary.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by providing arguments for why reading is better than watching TV or playing video games for children.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Imagination
  • Visualization
  • Complex vocabulary
  • Sentence structure
  • Focus
  • Concentration
  • Passive activity
  • Interactive activity
  • Gratification
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Cultural perspective
  • Historical perspective
  • Attention span
  • Educational enrichment
  • Cognitive development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: