IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Modern technology has made it easier for individuals to download copyrighted music and books from the internet for no charge.

#technology #individuals #download #music #books #internet #charge
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in downloading
books
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 from the internet. Despite the undeniable economic harm that copyrighted
books
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 have brought to their producers' lives, I intend to argue that the
overall
Linking Words
 benefits of
this
Linking Words
 are numerous. The reasons for
this
Linking Words
 are as follows. First of all, it is an irrefutable fact that the availability of
books
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 on the Internet for free would result in a significant decline in the number of published ones in the future. Downloading copyrighted products would cause a decline in publishers' income, resulting in a loss of interest and motivation to produce new ones.
According to
Linking Words
 the statistics, the number of authors and singers experienced a 20% drop from 2015 to 2021. It is,
therefore
Linking Words
, crucial to compensate for insufficient economic profit for publishers. Yet, perhaps the strongest argument in favour of
this
Linking Words
 issue is a reduction in ecological damage. Having online access to
books
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 has made cutting trees to produce papers and print
books
Use synonyms
 redundant. A salient example of
this
Linking Words
 is Australia where the number of printed scientific
books
Use synonyms
 plunged from 800000 in 2010, to 50000 in 2019.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 approach has contributed to a significant increase in the studying hours per capita globally.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon has been accompanied by financial harm to the producers, I believe the environmental and societal merits are numerous By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
this
Linking Words
 evolution in technology has had a positive impact on the environment and human knowledge.
Also
Linking Words
, I think governments could take responsibility for financial loss to the producers.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, it could subtly address counter-arguments for a stronger task response. For instance, acknowledging the possibility of legal downloads facilitating economic models for artists could enrich the response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the smooth transition between ideas in some parts of the essay. For example, linking the environmental benefits more explicitly to the societal benefits could enhance comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The essay opens with a strong, clear introduction that outlines the key points, and closes with a well-rounded conclusion summarizing the main arguments.
coherence cohesion
Arguments presented are well-organized and developed in a logical manner, with clear examples to support the main points.
task achievement
The task is comprehensively addressed, with well-chosen examples such as the statistics and the example of Australia.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: