IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and graph below show information about cinema visits in Auckland between 1995 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table and graph below show information about cinema visits in Auckland between 1995 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#show #information #cinema #visits #auckland #features #comparisons
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These charts illustrate the percentage
Change preposition
of a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 population
Visit
Correct pronoun usage
who Visit
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
cinema
Use synonyms
 and
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 figure of
cinema
Use synonyms
visits
Use synonyms
 in Auckland during the 8.
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the first table shows the proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 lowest in 1995. But the average
number
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
cinema
Use synonyms
visits
Use synonyms
 is highest in 1997. And the second line graph demonstrates four age groups visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
 every 2
years
Use synonyms
. Every age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
has had
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend for 8
years
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, In 1997, 1999 and 2003, the
cinema
Use synonyms
 had the same percentages of whole population visitors, at 72%. In 2001,
this
Linking Words
 figure reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 top of the
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in 1995, the amount of
cinema
Use synonyms
visits
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 higher than the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of visitors in 1999, 2001 and 2003 at 10.3. The highest figure was
showed
Change the form of the verb
shown
show examples
 in 1997, at 11.2 and the Lowest
number
Use synonyms
 was illustrated in 1999, at 7.3.
In addition
Linking Words
, the line graph shows four
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 between 14 and over 50
years
Use synonyms
 old, about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cinema
Use synonyms
visits
Use synonyms
. Even though the four numbers of different aged people had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend between 1995 and 2003, the amount of teenagers and young people saw a
slowly
Change the word
slow
show examples
 downward in 2001.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema, visits, years, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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