IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the distribution of the population in Oman and Spain across three age groups in 2005 and provide a projection for the same categories 50 years later. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the distribution of the population in Oman and Spain across three age groups in 2005 and provide a projection for the same categories 50 years later. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #distribution #population #oman #spain #three #age #groups #projection #categories #years #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie graphs provided above
depicts
Correct subject-verb agreement
depict
show examples
 historical data about the distribution of three
age
Use synonyms
 categories in
Oman
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
spain
Change the capitalization
Spain
show examples
 in 2005
as well as
Linking Words
 the predictions related to those
age
Use synonyms
 groups in 2055.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2005, over one-third of
Correct article usage
the spanish
show examples
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 was constituted by elderly people
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 more than 60.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 category's proportion in
Oman
Use synonyms
 was under 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, it is predicted that
while
Linking Words
 people over 60 might increase to 57% in
Oman
Use synonyms
, in the case of
Spain
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 per
cent
Use synonyms
 will reduce significantly; with 20% decrease, it will reach 46 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the youngest individuals, under 14, had the same
population
Use synonyms
 as
Correct article usage
the elderlys
show examples
elderlys
Correct your spelling
elderly
elderlies
elders
 in
Oman
Use synonyms
, under half of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
, its proportion was notably low for
Spain
Use synonyms
, 14%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is highly possible that the
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 role in the structure of
Oman
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
 will weaken to 37
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Spain
Use synonyms
, with
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 decrease it may stand at 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Interestingly, the middle
age
Use synonyms
 category, those between 15 to 59, had and will have the lowest percentage in
Oman
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
, 4% in 2005 and 6 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2055.
whereas
Linking Words
, as the second group with the highest
population
Use synonyms
(24%) in 2005, the number of adults will nearly double to reach 42 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in the latter year.
Overall
Linking Words
, for both
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 senility
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 an issue , and it will be more intense in
Oman
Use synonyms
, but
Spain
Use synonyms
 will have more young adults in the future.
Submitted by faraisam33 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, oman, spain, population, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: