IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say football players who have talent are the best. Others say players who learn the skill are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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All sports are considered enthusiastic
skills
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some people think football players with talent are better.
Whereas
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, some believe athletes who learn
skills
Use synonyms
 first , can contribute well. So, I would like to present my both views considering my positive side. The word 'Talent' describes an art or creativity found naturally in any humankind. It all depends
individually
Change the word
individual
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.
Moreover
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, it is rumoured that talent works best first in many sports .
Such
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 as talking about football , they believe playing in international or national level players with their natural ability works faster in answering
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 created in playing zones.
For instance
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, a person or player playing in a match with
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
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 own capabilities ,
instrest
Correct your spelling
interest
 and enjoyment will lead him or her to win easier . Just like ,Cristian Ronaldo, The famous footballer who
loves
Wrong verb form
has loved
show examples
 playing
from
Change preposition
since
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 his childhood . His inclination
lead
Change the form of the verb
led
show examples
 him to his own career growth. 
On the other hand
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,
people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
belif
Correct your spelling
believe
 towards having skilled athletes are much better
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their performance. They
also
Linking Words
 believe before going into sports , players must develop
skills
Use synonyms
 by training so they can face any circumstances during any play. The knowledge and training provided can make them polish physically and mentally as well.
For example
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, The famous cricketer ,Sachin
tendulker
Correct your spelling
Tendulkar
, trained his son before participating in any sport. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 he
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
 knowing his
satmina
Correct your spelling
stamina
 or responses during playing would know his capability and
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 let him know his calibre .
Additionally
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, so first it made him work on
its
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 rather than performing with interest. I would like to opine that
skills
Use synonyms
 and talents occupy different spaces in an individual's life. Some may love to play without focusing on impact.
However
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, some prioritize developing
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and becoming
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 to avoid any mistakes.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has good introductory and concluding parts, but the logical structure could be improved to ensure a smoother flow from one idea to the next. Consider using connectors or transitional phrases more effectively.
supporting details
Try to ensure that your main points are well-supported by clear, specific examples. Further elaboration would strengthen your argument.
clarity
The essay could benefit from a slight refinement in ideas to make them more clear and comprehensive. Be explicit in how examples relate to the points being made.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, providing a solid framework for your discussion.
task response
You address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to task achievement.
supporting details
You have provided relevant examples with well-known figures, which makes your argument more relatable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate talent
  • Natural intuition
  • Adaptability
  • High-pressure situations
  • Physical attributes
  • Dedication
  • Work ethic
  • Tactics
  • Strategies
  • Rigorous training
  • Consistent performance
  • Impeccable technique
  • Mental resilience
  • Perseverance
  • Continuous improvement
  • Motivating environment
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