IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below give information about the way in which water used in different countries in 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below give information about the way in which water used in different countries in 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words
#minutes #information #water #countries #summaries #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are two charts above. The bar
chart
 and pie
chart
 depict information about how households in four different countries in 2000 used
water
 daily.
Overall
, it can be seen that
agriculture
 was dominating among other fields. Meanwhile, Canada was dominated by
industry
.
First,
on the bar
chart
,
agriculture
 needs
water
 as
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 as 70 per
cent
while
industry
 only needs 22 per
cent
.
On the other hand
, domestic has a small percentage of
water
, which was 8 per
cent
. Moving to the bar
chart
,
agriculture
 in China used
water
 about 69 per
cent
.
Then
, domestic and
industry
 were 9 and 22 per
cent
, respectively. More than 90 per
cent
 of
water
 was used for
agriculture
 in India.
Besides
 that, people allocated it for
industry
 and domestic.
Furthermore
, in New Zealand,
agriculture
 and domestic had a big portion of using
water
.
In contrast
,
industry
 only used 10 per
cent
 of
water
.
Last
 country,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Canada, the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 more focused on
indsutry
Correct your spelling
industry
 rather than other fields,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why they need 80 per
cent
 of
water
 for
industry
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, water, agriculture, industry, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: