Nowadays children mostly spend time playing compyuter games rather than sports.

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Children
Use synonyms
any day now
are primarily dedicate
Change the verb form
primarily dedicate
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time
playing
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to playing
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video
games
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rather
over
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than
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charming
Verb problem
playing
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in
sport
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sports
show examples
activities.In my point of view,
this
Linking Words
essay will explore both perspectives in detail and relative examples with clear explanations will be highlighted before providing
logical
Correct article usage
a logical
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conclusion in the subsequent paragraphs.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
the one hand, there
are
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is
show examples
a broad range of positive sights in playing
Use synonyms
compyuter
Correct your spelling
computer
games
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.First and foremost,
children
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are likely to extend their
Use synonyms
compyuter
Correct your spelling
computer
skills.
This
Linking Words
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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young people mostly spend time playing
Use synonyms
compyuter
Correct your spelling
computer
games
Use synonyms
more than training with sports on a daily basıs .If their brains are tired
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
many different studies,
Use synonyms
compyuter
Correct your spelling
computer
games
Use synonyms
can provide
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
mood and decrease their stress levels.
For instance
Linking Words
,a great deal of scientific subjects are learned by
children
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in academic schools .
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
also
Linking Words
there are some advantages it can include a great deal of drawbacks.
For example
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,
overweightness
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overweight ness
is extending around the world in
might
Add an article
the might
show examples
of spending time to
Use synonyms
compyuter
Correct your spelling
computer
games
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,If
children
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only play
Use synonyms
compyuter
Correct your spelling
computer
games
Use synonyms
, no one can get out.
Therefore
Linking Words
,young people can
training
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train
be training
show examples
with sports on a daily basıs.
To sum up
Linking Words
, notwithstanding
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the positive sights,I believe that there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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effects than
positive
Fix the agreement mistake
positives
show examples
.
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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is developed with specific and relevant examples that directly support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Transitions between paragraphs and ideas should be smoother and more coherent.
task achievement
Clarify and expand your explanations and arguments to ensure they are comprehensive and clear. Avoid overly complex or vague statements.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame the discussion and provide closure.
task achievement
Attempts to present multiple perspectives on the topic, addressing both the benefits and drawbacks of children playing computer games.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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