In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message ?
Kids
are frequently tells
that they can get anything if they strive for the goal. I strongly agree with Change the verb form
are frequently told
this
statement. In this
essay, I will argue about how children
turns
their imagination into reality by their belief.
When a child Change the verb form
turn
believe
Change the verb form
believes
Change preposition
in himself
himself
at the beginning of their life, and when they understand a little about Correct pronoun usage
themselves
this
world they seek for
what they always wanted to do. So, young Change preposition
apply
children
search for their mission which will be accomplished by themselves one day, they believe themselves
and make a goal for Change preposition
in themselves
future
which can lead them toward success. Correct article usage
the future
For example
, Many students from the United Kingdom successfully became doctors. Become
a doctor wasn't so easy in Wrong verb form
Becoming
United
Kingdom but students from Correct article usage
the United
very
young age Add an article
a very
they
trusted themselves to become a doctor and that passion led them to Correct pronoun usage
apply
became
Change the form of the verb
become
a
Correct article usage
apply
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
at the end
of their study
.
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
Moreover
, children
with self-belief has
much more Change the verb form
have
confident
than those who do not believe Replace the word
confidence
themselves
, by trusting ourselves we can be productive and creative Change preposition
in themselves
on
our Change preposition
in
work
due to
self-confidence and self-confidence is the key to success. For instance
, in a
recent research, employee Remove the article
apply
those
who Correct pronoun usage
apply
believe
Wrong verb form
believed
themselves
performed better at Change preposition
in themselves
work
rather than those who had disbelief on
their Change preposition
in
work
.
In conclusion, in certain cultures, young children
are commonly believed that they can acquire anything, if they seek hard enough for their passions. As a result
, they build their confident
from Replace the word
confidence
their
early age and Change the word
an
began
to think about their bright future, they study and Wrong verb form
begin
work
with passion and confident
Replace the word
confidence
which regards
their true visions.Wrong verb form
regarding
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task achievement
Try to provide a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and the disadvantages of the message, as the task requires you to weigh both sides.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and organization of ideas. This includes ensuring each paragraph discusses a single main idea clearly.
coherence cohesion
Include transitional phrases to enhance logical flow between sentences and ideas, improving overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion which help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples, such as those involving students becoming doctors, to support your points.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...