In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Somepeople say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent times
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
expectancy of
people
has risen and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is argued by many
people
having an ageing
population
causes problems for
governments
while
others believe
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
society
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
benefits for the nation. Personally, I tend to agree with the first view that an ageing
population
creates more problems and support it with examples. Let's start by looking at the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
of a
society
with elder members. One of the main positives is that older generations have more experience than youngsters
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
could be useful in leading the nation and some special events that need more experience to solve.
For example
, in a situation like covid pandemic, if it happens in the future the elders who have the experience can lead the
society
better to go through the issue.
On the other hand
, some
people
believe that an ageing
population
creates difficulties for
governments
such
as rising expenses
due to
pensions and declining in the labour force.
For instance
, in
Germany
Add a comma
Germany,
show examples
the number of older
people
has risen in past years and the birth rate is quite low which caused problems
such
as the need for
labour
Correct article usage
a labour
show examples
force because most of the
population
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
retired.
Furthermore
, rising
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
populations pressure the
governments
with
penesions
Correct your spelling
pensions
pension
which has a quite big share in countries' budgets. All things considered, many believe that elder
people
have benefits for
society
and their experiences are useful for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
However
, some
people
think
growing
Add an article
a growing
the growing
show examples
number of elder
population
creates difficulties like rising expenses for
governments
. In my view, the drawbacks in terms of expenses and lack of
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
eventually outweigh
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear and distinct point that contributes to your overall argument. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly outlining and summarizing the main argument.
task achievement
Clear comparison of both views regarding the impact of an ageing population, showing balanced analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life expectancy
  • Demographic shift
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Pension funds
  • Intergenerational solidarity
  • Consumer demographics
  • Workforce participation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Urban planning
  • Assisted living facilities
  • Socio-economic challenges
  • Sustainable development
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