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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #time #education #years
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Some individuals see that the Young population must have full-time Learning in the school from childhood to adolescence. I Agree that students should be completely released
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
education
 until the age of 18 years old In my opinion, Young students should spend full-time learning during elementary, intermediate and secondary school level because they have to concentrate on learning effectively to build up their knowledge, another reason is that one of their rights is to have full-time
education
 as a part of child protection organization.
For example
, some countries prohibit anyone below 18 years old from working, and by law, they should be free for
education
 only and the government is responsible for providing them with the maximum social, economic, and transportation support.
However
, if the learners had part-time learning during that era,
this
 would have affected them negatively by decreasing their concentration and, so far, affecting their performance in school.
For example
, If the person is dividing the daytime between having
education
 and doing other tasks not related to learning, it will be a burden and they will not be able to do multiple tasks efficiently In conclusion, All children and adolescents have the right to study well, with full-time
education
 to build up their knowledge and future with full support from parents, friends, society and government.
Submitted by ghufran.mahmoud on

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task achievement
Try to expand on the ideas to provide a more comprehensive argument. More relevant examples will support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the overall logical flow of the essay. Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has clear introductory and concluding paragraphs, which gives the write-up a good structure.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task prompt with a clear opinion and reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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