Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, the main trend
that is
popular among societies is globalization on account of the fact that global communities have access to the same items namely, movies, fashion, brands, commercials, and so on.
while
a similar world has a lot of benefits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the drawbacks. On the one side, the merits of losing the difference between countries are so varied. On the one hand, when people who are all over the world have access to the same factors,
then
they can immigrate and travel across the world without any problems; in fact, they have individual opinions of each other.
On the other hand
, it causes social media and companies to become homogenised;
as a result
, the global inhabitants receive the news, clothes, and so on that they like really fast. On the other side, globalization has several demerits.
Firstly
, the important element that introduces the country is its culture;
however
, if populations follow similar trends, the cultural erosion owing to the fact that its aspects
such
as costumes, music, ceremonies and so forth are destroyed.
Secondly
, the publicities and media are the best devices that international firms use to encourage people to buy their goods;
consequently
, local businesses lose their clients;
moreover
, it creates a number of economic challenges for some countries and prevents them from developing.
To sum up
, the similarity between international citizens has different good points;
nevertheless
, it cannot eclipse the bad points inasmuch as traditional norms and the economy are the crucial parts that aid countries to enhance and survive.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt, offering both advantages and disadvantages of globalization. However, it would benefit from deeper analysis and more specific examples to fully develop each point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that aligns with the main argument. Strengthening the logical progression between ideas would enhance the essay's coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide a framework for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The use of connectors like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' aids in transitioning between contrasting ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural Homogenization
  • Erode
  • Global Heritage
  • Multinational Companies
  • Economic Disparities
  • Linguistic Diversity
  • Global Community
  • Social Cohesion
  • Dissemination of Information
  • Cultural Exchange
  • Artistic Expressions
  • Local Customs
  • Dominant Languages
  • Prevalent
  • Global Brands
What to do next:
Look at other essays: