Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

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These days, the main trend

that is

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popular among societies is globalization on account of the fact that global communities have access to the same items namely, movies, fashion, brands, commercials, and so on.

while

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a similar world has a lot of benefits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the drawbacks. On the one side, the merits of losing the difference between countries are so varied. On the one hand, when people who are all over the world have access to the same factors,

then

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they can immigrate and travel across the world without any problems; in fact, they have individual opinions of each other.

On the other hand

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, it causes social media and companies to become homogenised;

as a result

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, the global inhabitants receive the news, clothes, and so on that they like really fast. On the other side, globalization has several demerits.

Firstly

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, the important element that introduces the country is its culture;

however

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, if populations follow similar trends, the cultural erosion owing to the fact that its aspects

such

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as costumes, music, ceremonies and so forth are destroyed.

Secondly

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, the publicities and media are the best devices that international firms use to encourage people to buy their goods;

consequently

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, local businesses lose their clients;

moreover

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, it creates a number of economic challenges for some countries and prevents them from developing.

To sum up

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, the similarity between international citizens has different good points;

nevertheless

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, it cannot eclipse the bad points inasmuch as traditional norms and the economy are the crucial parts that aid countries to enhance and survive.

maryamkazemi968Sun Dec 01 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt, offering both advantages and disadvantages of globalization. However, it would benefit from deeper analysis and more specific examples to fully develop each point.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that aligns with the main argument. Strengthening the logical progression between ideas would enhance the essay's coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide a framework for the reader.

coherence cohesion

The use of connectors like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' aids in transitioning between contrasting ideas.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural Homogenization
Erode
Global Heritage
Multinational Companies
Economic Disparities
Linguistic Diversity
Global Community
Social Cohesion
Dissemination of Information
Cultural Exchange
Artistic Expressions
Local Customs
Dominant Languages
Prevalent
Global Brands

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