IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates different primary sources that
police
Use synonyms
 allocation
was rely
Change the verb form
was relied
was relying
show examples
 on in a certain location of Britain between 2017 and 2018, whilst the pie chart provides
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 about the purposes that the fundings had been utilized for in the same period.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent in the table that the amount of
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
 from these suppletions had been increased throughout the period, making the total amount of
money
Use synonyms
 that the
police
Use synonyms
 force operated on witnessed a
surged
Replace the word
surge
show examples
 in 2018.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the charts, the figure for salaries came from officers and staff
Correct pronoun usage
who had
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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made up the highest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 despite having a small decline in the latest year. With
regrard
Correct your spelling
regard
regards
 to the table, the quantity of cash from
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Government had
rose
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
 modestly from 175.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2017 to 177.8
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2018, which had remained the largest source of
money
Use synonyms
 for
this
Linking Words
police
Use synonyms
 force.
Although
Linking Words
 the figure for funding from local Taxes began with only 91.2
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2017, it
then
Linking Words
 experienced a sharp growth to 102.3
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 and became the second largest source after one year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other sources with
inclusion
Add an article
the inclusion
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 of grants had provided more
money
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 from 2017 to 2018, the climb was extremely marginal. In 2017,
this
Linking Words
 source of funding was responsible for 38
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
, and in 2018 that of
Use synonyms
police
Add an article
the police
a police
show examples
 force was 38.5
million
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pounds
Use synonyms
. thanks to all these increases, the total amount of
money
Use synonyms
 from the
police
Use synonyms
 allocation had soared from 304.7
million
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pounds
Use synonyms
 to 318.6
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 between two years. In spite of the period from 2017 to 2018 witnessed a steady decrease
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 6% in the expenditure of officers and staff 's salaries, it still consumed the most resources in the pie chart.
Moreover
Linking Words
, technology's proportion started dropping modestly from nearly 8% in 2017 to around 14% in 2018,
along with
Linking Words
 the stability of the percentage of construction and transport.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words police, money, million, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "modestly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fiscal allocations
  • Revenue streams
  • Budgetary oversight
  • Expenditure
  • Financial appropriation
  • Government grants
  • Local taxation
  • Operational costs
  • Capital investment
  • Public safety
  • Crime prevention
  • Community policing
  • Resource allocation
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Budgetary constraints
  • Fiscal year
  • Fund disbursement
  • Budget deficit/surplus
  • Trend analysis
  • Financial sustainability
  • Law enforcement funding
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