The quality of computer language has improved significantly in recent years. Therefore it is not necessary for children to learn foreign languages. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, some
people
learn a
language
by
computer
and mobile phone, they believe that will help them to learn fastly.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
others think it is not necessary for kids to learn foreign languages. So, I completely disagree
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
people
learn languages by
pice
Correct your spelling
piece
show examples
of technology. In
this
easay
Correct your spelling
essay
. I am going to discuss
this
point and give
example
Correct article usage
an example
show examples
. First of all, if they learn
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
by
computer
only, they don'
t
get
benefit
Add an article
the benefit
a benefit
show examples
.
in
Capitalize word
In
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other words,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
in real and
amonge
Correct your spelling
among
of
computer
has a big
diffefrent
Correct your spelling
difference
different
, they don'
t
have
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
,
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apply
show examples
when they speak
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
,
as well as
they have habitat when they talk with
people
.
Also
, they can'
t
complete their conversation , because they
didn'
Wrong verb form
don't
show examples
t
have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to understand them. If they
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
focused
on
learn
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learning
show examples
language
by
computer
, they will late of improving.
However
, when they used both
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
of
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
useful for them.
In other words
, if they learn
language
Correct article usage
the language
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the labtop
show examples
labtop
Correct your spelling
laptop
, after that they
practecing
Correct your spelling
practising
with real
people
, that will support them to speak well.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
, most children can speak foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
as English
language
. To illustrate, they are learning
language
Add an article
the language
show examples
of real, they are using it
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any where
Join the words
anywhere
show examples
,
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
it will help them to communicate with others confidently.
Moreover
, if they study
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
early age , they will
ecquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
require
the
language
fastly, they speak with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
which it support them to improve more .
To conclude
, I strongly believe that
foreing
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
need
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needs
show examples
to
practice
Wrong verb form
be practised
show examples
every day
,
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apply
show examples
and
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the real world, as talking with other individuals ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will help them to develop skills
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
language
.
Submitted by Loody on

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task achievement
Your essay presents ideas and an overall response to the question. However, the main points need further development and clarity. Try to expand each point with more specific examples and justifications.
coherence cohesion
The essay has some structure, but there are areas where the connection between ideas could be stronger. Consider using more linking phrases and ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea that ties back to your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've included an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay.
task achievement
Your acknowledgment of different viewpoints shows an understanding of multiple perspectives, which adds depth to your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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