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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the top priorities by business companies in the USA in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the top priorities by business companies in the USA in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph illustrates the top priorities of business companies in the USA in the year 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
employees
Use synonyms
 emphasized an
increase
Use synonyms
 in converting contacts/leads to
customers
Use synonyms
 and an
increase
Use synonyms
 in the
number
Use synonyms
 of contacts and details. Reducing the cost of
contact
Use synonyms
/lead/customer acquisition was the lowest priority among all company
employees
Use synonyms
. 26 to 200
employees
Use synonyms
 prioritised 79% to
increase
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
number
Use synonyms
 of
contact
Use synonyms
 details
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 prioritising 73% in converting
contact
Use synonyms
 leads to consumers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 25
employees
Use synonyms
 prioritised 71% in converting
contact
Use synonyms
 leads to consumers and increasing the
number
Use synonyms
 of
contact
Use synonyms
 details. Meanwhile,
26
Change preposition
of 26
show examples
 to 200
employees
Use synonyms
 47 % prioritise increasing revenue derived from existing
customers
Use synonyms
 and providing the ROI of marketing activities.
However
Linking Words
, 201 or more
employees
Use synonyms
 prioritised 66% in converting
contact
Use synonyms
 leads to consumers and increasing the
number
Use synonyms
 of contacts and leads.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 201 or more
employees
Use synonyms
 prioritised 55% to
increase
Use synonyms
 revenue derived
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 existing
customers
Use synonyms
. 25
employees
Use synonyms
 and 26 to 200
employees
Use synonyms
 emphasized 20% and 26% respectively in reducing the cost of
contact
Use synonyms
/leads/
customers
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 201
employees
Use synonyms
 30%
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prioritised reducing the cost of
contact
Use synonyms
/leads/
customers
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employees, increase, customers, number, contact with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • top priority
  • business focus
  • percentage
  • comparison
  • significant gap
  • least prioritized
  • unique trends
  • surprising findings
  • industries
  • business objectives
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