Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that children should be free to do what they want to do in their free time. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some
Some
people believe that Remove the redundancy
apply
children
should do organised Use synonyms
activities
in their leisure Use synonyms
time
, but others believe that Use synonyms
children
should be free to do what they want to do in their free Use synonyms
time
. Both views have positive or negative things, but I support the first view.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there are several positive sides to Linking Words
activities
that make a child a polite person. The first idea is thatUse synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
the
organised Correct article usage
apply
activities
teach Use synonyms
children
how to maintain discipline. The second idea is thatUse synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
the
organised Correct article usage
apply
activities
teach Use synonyms
children
how to maintain Use synonyms
time
management. Use synonyms
For example
, many Linking Words
children
do not know about Use synonyms
time
management in their Use synonyms
exam
, and Fix the agreement mistake
exams
as a result
, they cannot write properly before finishing exam Linking Words
time
. If they know Use synonyms
time
management from organised Use synonyms
activities
, they can write properly. Use synonyms
Also
, organised Linking Words
activities
teach Use synonyms
children
how to do their school routine or daily routine. Every student should maintain organised Use synonyms
activities
. It is good for students or Use synonyms
children
.
On the other side, there are various Use synonyms
activities
, which Use synonyms
activities
are good for students or Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, if students want to socialise in their free Linking Words
time
, they can do it. Use synonyms
For example
, if Linking Words
children
want to help poor people to reduce their lack of food, they can do so. Use synonyms
Secondly
, in their leisure Linking Words
Use synonyms
time
they can do outdoor Add a comma
time,
activities
like football, cricket, and so on. Use synonyms
As a result
, if they play football or cricket, they can understand about defeat or win. By defeating or winning, their confidence level will increase.
In conclusion, both views are good for Linking Words
children
, but I strongly support the first view. I think organised Use synonyms
activities
can help a child to win their success. So it is important to every child or person.Use synonyms
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language accuracy
Try to avoid repetition and redundancy, such as in the opening line where 'Some Some' is repeated. Also, work on reducing small grammatical errors.
task achievement
Elaborate more on the connection between time management in organized activities and their practical application, like exams. This will strengthen the task achievement.
task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples or data to support your points, such as statistics or study findings related to organized activities benefiting children's development.
structure
Clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your argument.
organization
Logical structure in outlining the points, with a balanced view first and supporting view later.
example usage
Use of specific examples, such as how organized activities can teach time management skills in exams.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite