Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wished. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
day people like to give
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
children whatever they ask about ,so some people think allowing children to make their own choices
such
as food ,clothes and entertainment
it
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apply
show examples
lead to
create
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creating
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individuals who only think about their own
wished
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wishes
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while
other people believe that
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
show examples
important for children to make decisions about matter
theat
Correct your spelling
that
affect them.In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss both
argument
Change to a plural noun
arguments
show examples
and I will highlight my opinions . The
child
who
decided
Wrong verb form
decides
show examples
about his own choice
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
every day is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better than
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
else but in a limited and with
the
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apply
show examples
his parents follow up it rainforest his confidence and his ability to face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life in the future add and he will be
Correct article usage
an independence
show examples
independence
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independent
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strong
person
,I agree with
this
argue because it is important for
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
to find his responsibility and know about it.
In
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On
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the other hand the
child
who never
car
Correct your spelling
cares
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about what he
love
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loves
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or what he
will eat
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eats
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for example
he will be a normal
person
who just
care
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cares
show examples
about other
discission
Correct your spelling
decisions
show examples
,so parents will get a weak
child
who
cant
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can't
show examples
find
him self
Correct your spelling
himself
show examples
and just
wait
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wait for
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the vita nurturing from family I don't agree to follow
this
idea because give us bad result in the future the
person
will never can protect his self . In
conclusion
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conclusion,
show examples
the
person
who
have
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has
show examples
a good personality
this
who can think about his choice and
the
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apply
show examples
good parents
who
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apply
show examples
let their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
decide and they
roul
Correct your spelling
role
should be to follow them and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
give their
child
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big support to help their
child
engag
Correct your spelling
engage
in
the
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apply
show examples
life.
Submitted by Loody on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas across the essay. While the main points are clear, the transitions between sentences and paragraphs often lack clarity, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the structure of your essay includes a clear thesis statement in the introduction and that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence that ties directly back to the thesis. This will help in achieving a more cohesive structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing to the reader.
task achievement
Focus on using varied sentence structures and vocabulary to convey your ideas more effectively and to prevent repetition.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction that sets out the two views and establishes a personal stance; this helps in providing a clear frame for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and clearly reiterates the writer's opinion, providing closure to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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