nowadays many people use social media do you think advantages of this exceed the drawbacks?

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In recent years, the number of people who use social media has increased dramatically.Some argue that
this
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phenomenon has a huge number of advantages
such
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as communication, making new friends and entertainment
while
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I firmly assert that the drawbacks of
this
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, ranging from health issues,and wasting time to online bullying exceed the merits.
This
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essay will explore the pros and cons of
this
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phenomenon.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider expanding on your introduction by clearly outlining the purpose of the essay and mentioning the main points that will be explored. This will help set the stage for your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay could benefit from providing more specific examples to support your points. Consider including examples or scenarios for each advantage or drawback.
Task Achievement
Work on elaborating your arguments more clearly. While your points are mentioned, developing each one further could provide more persuasive arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay introduces both advantages and disadvantages, indicating a balanced perspective and covering the complete response requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear thesis statement that sets up the writer's stance on the topic, indicating that the writer is well-prepared to address both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The writer effectively introduces the purpose of the essay and summarizes the overall stance, which helps in leading the reader into the main body of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Knowledge sharing
  • Social engagement
  • Digital marketing
  • Networking opportunities
  • Cybersecurity
  • Online privacy
  • Digital literacy
  • Social awareness
  • Echo chamber effect
  • Information overload
  • Digital footprint
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