Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #live #performance #event #television

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Some are of the opinion that attending a concert or an event in

person

is more exciting than watching

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

on TV.

This

essay totally agrees with that statement because it provides an immersive environment and

also

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

people

to have good memories with their loved ones. One of the main

benefit

Change to a plural noun

benefits

show examples

of attending live concerts in

person

is the experience ones get when they attend them. Physical presence in the event is so exciting , and the adrenaline rush a

person

gets because of not knowing what will happen next during matches is so pleasurable.

That is

why

besides

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of programs charging so much money

people

still attend them.

For example

, on average an annual English Premier League pass

cost

Wrong verb form

costs

show examples

roughly 700 pounds, but

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

still

buy

Change the verb form

buys

show examples

them and stadiums are usually full in

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of games. Another advantage that makes them more enjoyable is the time

spend

Change the form of the verb

spent

show examples

with family members.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of the folks usually go to these events with their spouses or children.

This

results in

family

Add an article

the family

show examples

coming closer to each other.

For instance

, I still remember the first time when I went to see the cricket match between Pakistan and India, with my elder brother. I have lots of good memories from that day. In conclusion, watching sports

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

concert

Fix the agreement mistake

concerts

show examples

or any performance in

person

is far more exciting and enjoyable because of

people

spending time with their families and how much they are invested in them.

Therfore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

, it is recommended that

people

should attend them

atleast

Correct your spelling

at least

once in their life with their

closed

Correct word choice

loved

show examples

ones.

Submitted by saadanwer89 on Tue Dec 03 2024

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task achievement

You could further strengthen your argument by elaborating on why live performances create more vivid memories than watching on TV.

coherence cohesion

The essay slightly lacks transitions between ideas, consider using linking words to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.

introduction conclusion

The introduction clearly outlines your position, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

You provided specific examples from personal experiences, which helped strengthen your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Your opinion

Scientists have been warning for many years that to protect the environment, we have to limit the use of energy in a daily lives. Despite warning many people do not attention to this. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to save the environment?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?