Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theaters or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

2.5 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

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Introduction

A lot of group of people think money must

spend

Wrong verb form

be spent

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

medical

Replace the word

medicine

show examples

and

education

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

they think

theaters

Use synonyms

and

sports

Use synonyms

stadiums are not

necessery

Correct your spelling

necessary

. I completely disagree. I think

education

Use synonyms

and

theather

Correct your spelling

theatre

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

a connection,

similerly

Correct your spelling

similarly

similar

sports

Use synonyms

and

medical

Replace the word

medicine

show examples

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

has a

conennect

Correct your spelling

connect

with

Use synonyms

theaters

Change the spelling

theatres

show examples

because

Use synonyms

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

type

Add an article

a type

the type

show examples

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

and arts improve

education

Use synonyms

quality. Not only

education

Use synonyms

quality but

also

Linking Words

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

mental

healths

Fix the agreement mistake

health

show examples

affect

Wrong verb form

are affected

show examples

theaters

Use synonyms

. One experiment shows

Use synonyms

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

factor

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education

Use synonyms

because

Use synonyms

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

teach

Change the verb form

teaches

show examples

creativity to children.

Body paragraph 2

Secondly

Linking Words

, I think

sports

Use synonyms

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

role in our

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

Linking Words

initially

Add a comma

initially,

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

improves

Change the verb form

improve

show examples

our muscles and

health

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 3

Colombia University professors say"

Sports

Use synonyms

impacts

Change preposition

apply

show examples

health

Use synonyms

morever

Correct your spelling

moreover

our educational

sucsess

Correct your spelling

success

too." all things show

sports

Use synonyms

are useful for

medical

Replace the word

medicine

show examples

and

education

Use synonyms

Conclusion

Finally

Linking Words

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

point of

education

Use synonyms

and

medical

Replace the word

medicine

show examples

Fix the infinitive

to be

show examples

helpful for people and rise up to humanity and

this

Linking Words

point same with

sports

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

theaters

Change the spelling

theatres

show examples

, all of these have some benefits for us,

for

Linking Words

example

Add the comma(s)

example,

show examples

physical

health

Use synonyms

and medical

health

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

are influence

show examples

influence

Replace the word

influenced

show examples

education

Use synonyms

medical

Replace the word

medicine

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

theaters

Change the spelling

theatres

show examples

. İn

the

Correct article usage

show examples

result,

education

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

show examples

also

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

and medical too.

türkoğluahmetonur

Dec 3, 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on your main points and ensure that your ideas are fully developed. For instance, explain more about how theater and sports influence education and health.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific studies or instances where theater and sports have contributed to education or health.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph connects smoothly to the next.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well presented, providing a clear argument.

task achievement

You have made an effort to link theater with education and sports with health, which shows an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

185 words

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Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theaters or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

in some countries and increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantage and disadvantage of giving children this message.

Some people say that older generation had a better quality of life due to their lifestyle which did not have involve any use of high tech gadgets or technology like that smart phone or internet. Do you agree or disagree?

95.Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Other believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.