More and more people are seriously overweight. some people suggest the solution to this problem is to increase the prise of fastening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The number of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who are overweight is increasing day by day, to address
obesity
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

problems many
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

propose
to
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
rise
Correct your spelling
raise

The word rise doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
the prices of fattening foods.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
essay totally disagrees with the approach because the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
suggestenation
Correct your spelling
suggestion

If you don’t want suggestenation to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

is about the wrong solution and it may bankrupt professionals that produce
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

type of food in
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

way
Correct article usage
a way

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with,
obesity
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

comes from many different factors including fattening foods but it is not the only
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
primary source,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

while
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
it is the lack of
controlling
Replace the word
control

The word controlling doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
containing calories in
meals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To be more specific, fat is essential in
body building
Correct your spelling
bodybuilding

The word body building seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
but when individuals consume it in huge quantities causes them more
demage
Correct your spelling
damage

If you don’t want demage to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, so they need to be careful and accurate in measuring calories.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, studies showed that individuals
con not
Correct your spelling
cannot

The word con doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
feel full after eating
a fat-free
Correct the article-noun agreement
a fat-free meal
fat-free meals

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun meals in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
meals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

eating
high fat
Add a hyphen
high-fat

It appears that high fat is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
meals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will lead to
obesity
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and provided that balancing is the true solution.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, boosting the value of fatty foods will lead to big losses for companies and restaurants that produce these
meals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To explain in more detail, the companies will experience
Correct article usage
a decreaseing
show examples
decreaseing
Correct your spelling
decrease

If you don’t want decreaseing to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in the number of customers merely based on high values followed by financial losses from not receiving revenues from expenses,
moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, workers will get fired, which leads to unemployment.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

boycotted
al-Safa
Correct article usage
the al-Safa

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
water brand
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

year when they elevated their prices and the brand recorded a big loss in their history. In conclusion, enforcing high prices of fatty food will not help overweight
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
loss
Replace the word
lose

The word loss doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
weight, but balancing calories will
definitaly
Correct your spelling
definitely

If you don’t want definitaly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

solve
obesity
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

issuses
Correct your spelling
issues

If you don’t want issuses to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, cheap values will help manufacturers grow in their business and encourage work for employees.
Submitted by danall1kat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To strengthen the task response, ensure that you address the question directly in each paragraph, possibly by explicitly stating to what extent you agree or disagree.
coherence
Try to enhance coherence between sentences by using connectors and transition words more frequently.
task response
To further support your points, include more examples or evidence that directly relate to your arguments.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the stage for your argument and summarizing your points effectively.
coherence
The essay reasons logically about the potential negative impacts on businesses that sell fatty foods if prices were raised.
task response
You effectively highlight an alternative solution to obesity, focusing on calorie balance rather than price increases.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Nutritional value
  • Fast food culture
  • Economic disparity
  • Healthier alternatives
  • Caloric intake
  • Dietary habits
  • Public health measures
  • Consumer behavior
  • Price elasticity
  • Subsidies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: