IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent years,” responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environmrnt of the places thay visit. However, some poelpe say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#years #tourists” #attention #culture #environmrnt #places #thay #visit #poelpe #“responsible #tourist”
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These days, tourism industries are becoming widespread which means that more travellers to come the countries to visit. It is thought that the
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 require
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 to preserve
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 heritages and environment
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
where
Correct word choice
which
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 tourists come.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it is
arserted
Correct your spelling
asserted
 that
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
show examples
 of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 is unfeasible. I completely agree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
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 that tourists must
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
respond.
This
Linking Words
 essay will expose the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of preserving cultural countries and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Submitted by quocthangk29 on

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Overall Structure
You have clearly stated your position, which is a strong point. However, try to ensure that each part of the essay supports this position in a consistent manner. Consider following a more structured essay format to improve clarity.
Task Achievement
For task response, use more specific examples and elaboration to demonstrate how responsible tourism can positively impact cultural heritage and the environment. This will enhance the depth of your answer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on using linking words and phrases more effectively. This will help in showing how ideas are connected and build a more fluid narrative.
Task Achievement
You have taken a clear stance, which provides a direction for your essay.
Introduction Presence
The topic introduction is clear, and the premise of your argument is understandable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Responsible tourism
  • Cultural preservation
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Off-peak season travel
  • Local economy
  • Carbon offset
  • Waste reduction
  • Wildlife conservation
  • Respecting local customs
  • Cultural erosion
  • Commercialization of cultures
  • Mass tourism
What to do next:
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