IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The maps describe how riversdale university campus was changed in the years 1973 and 2010.

The maps describe how riversdale university campus was changed in the years 1973 and 2010.
The maps describe the layout of Riversdale University dorm as it was in the year 1973 with a proposed site design for 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the main change for 2010 involves the addition of car
park
Use synonyms
 B and the removal of the nature reserve. In 1973, there was a
river
Use synonyms
 from north to south. There were economics and fine arts
blogs
Use synonyms
 on the east of the
river
Use synonyms
 and sporting fields and ovals on the west bank of the
river
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the campus boasted library, science and administration
blogs
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
a low
Correct the article-noun agreement
a low blog
low blogs
show examples
blogs
Use synonyms
 on the south and southwest sides
while
Linking Words
 a car
park
Use synonyms
 and student union were situated in the northeast of the campus.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the university dorm
also
Linking Words
 had a large nature reserve along the west bank of the
river
Use synonyms
 and a tram in the east of the picture. Within 37 years, the campus has been partly restructured.
While
Linking Words
 the student union was constructed to the west of the
river
Use synonyms
, the nature reserve was demolished to make way for car
park
Use synonyms
 B and a tram stop
as well as
Linking Words
 a medical site was planned to
this
Linking Words
 side.
Library
Correct article usage
The library
show examples
 was expanded and the social science
blog
Use synonyms
 which was near the
river
Use synonyms
 was added to the low
blog
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the economics
blog
Use synonyms
 still exists, information sciences was erected on the original site of the fine arts
blog
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 auto
park
Use synonyms
 A was expanded to replace the student union, the tram which was located in the east and sporting fields and ovals
as well as
Linking Words
 sciences and administration
blogs
Use synonyms
 remained unchanged over a period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words park, river, blogs, blog with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "describe" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: