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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.
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The chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
forms
Use synonyms
 obtained from
Tourist
Correct article usage
the Tourist
show examples
 Information office in a city based on individual, email, and telephone by 6 months in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
forms
Use synonyms
 in person
based
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and by cell phone experienced a modest increase,
whereas
Linking Words
 for
letter
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure observed a gradual decline. Looking in more detail, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
 questionnaires commenced with just over 400, followed by
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increase of about 800 in
March
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 data for telephone
forms
Use synonyms
 saw a modest growth to 1000 in
March
Use synonyms
 before
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 slight decrease to almost 800.
Although
Linking Words
 the total count of individual
forms
Use synonyms
 increased sharply to around 1900,
this
Linking Words
 pattern rose gradually to 1600 by the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
, before stood at
unchangable
Correct your spelling
unchangeable
 from
March
Use synonyms
 to April. Regarding
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 category, the
number
Use synonyms
 of questionnaires based on letter or email recorded a small drop throughout the given period.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the stats began with just under 800
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and fluctuated by
March
Use synonyms
. After that,
this
Linking Words
 figure dropped to approximately 390in May,
remained
Correct word choice
and remained
show examples
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
stable by June.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, forms, march with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "modest" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Questionnaire
  • Tourist Information Office
  • Individual submission
  • Letter/email communication
  • Telephone survey
  • Fluctuation
  • Stable trend
  • Gradual increase
  • Varied patterns
  • Surpassed
  • Significant rise
  • Seasonal peak
  • Tourist behavior
  • Information campaign
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