Some people argue that the government should spend only on medical care and education, not theaters or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?
Few people thought that medical centres and
schools
should be more of a concern for the government
to spend money on rather than theatres and stadiums. I agree with the statement due to
several reasons. First,
those two sectors are basic human needs and most need renovation. Second,
hospitals and education
centers
still need to be expanded in rural Change the spelling
centres
areas
.
To begin
with, health
care and education
centers
are basic things everyone needs daily, and nowadays, these infrastructures need more attention from the Change the spelling
centres
government
due to
a lack of facilities or the buildings need to be updated too old. For instance
, in the health
field, a survey from the Faculty of Medicine in Universitas Riau shows that, on average, three hundred people, whether the hospital or the local health
center
, go to the medical Change the spelling
centre
center
Change the spelling
centre
daily-center
daily, whether the hospital or the local Change the spelling
daily-centre
health
center
. Change the spelling
centre
Moreover
, Public Health
Service in Sumatra reported that there are more than 2.780 local health
care that need to be renovated because the conditions are not safe, there is a lack of public services such
as air conditioners and couches, also
most of them have small buildings that cannot accommodate all the visitors. Hence
, the government
needs to be more concerned about this
area.
Furthermore
, education
centers
Change the spelling
centres
such
as colleges are rarely found in remote areas
. Schools
are the basic education
that every child needs. However
, schools
are limited in some regions. Based on the data from Badan Pusat Statistik Indonesia, Pekanbaru
, the capital city of Riau province, has about 71 public schools
, from elementary to high schools
, and about ten public and private universities. Meanwhile, Bangkinang, a suburb only one hour’s drive from Pekanbaru
, has only 20 public schools
and no college. Another example is Siak, about an hour’s drive from Pekanbaru
and an hour’s drive from Pekanbaru
, only with less than 15 schools
. This
phenomenon creates an imbalance to make an equal life between a big city and rural areas
. Therefore
, the government
needs to spend the budget on this
area.
To conclude
, education
and health
centers
are crucial, and the Change the spelling
centres
government
needs to improve this
field rather than sports centers
or Change the spelling
centres
theaters
. Change the spelling
theatres
Education
and health
are basic societal needs, and the government
needs to look for more facilities for these fields in rural areas
.Submitted by dhiyaghassanif on
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coherence
Consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
task response
Clarify or expand on some of the points made, such as the conditions of healthcare facilities.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by focusing on healthcare and education.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, with the conclusion reinforcing the main arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.