Some people argue that the government should spend only on medical care and education, not theaters or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #care #education #theaters #sports #stadiums

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Few people thought that medical centres and

schools

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should be more of a concern for the

government

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to spend money on rather than theatres and stadiums. I agree with the statement

due to

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several reasons.

First,

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those two sectors are basic human needs and most need renovation.

Second,

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hospitals and

education

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centers

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centres

show examples

still need to be expanded in rural

areas

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To begin

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with,

health

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care and

education

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centers

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centres

show examples

are basic things everyone needs daily, and nowadays, these infrastructures need more attention from the

government

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due to

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a lack of facilities or the buildings need to be updated too old.

For instance

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, in the

health

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field, a survey from the Faculty of Medicine in Universitas Riau shows that, on average, three hundred people, whether the hospital or the local

health

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center

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centre

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, go to the medical

center

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centre

show examples

daily-center

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daily-centre

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daily, whether the hospital or the local

health

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center

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centre

show examples

Moreover

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, Public

Health

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Service in Sumatra reported that there are more than 2.780 local

health

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care that need to be renovated because the conditions are not safe, there is a lack of public services

such

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as air conditioners and couches,

also

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most of them have small buildings that cannot accommodate all the visitors.

Hence

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, the

government

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needs to be more concerned about

this

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area.

Furthermore

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education

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centers

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centres

show examples

such

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as colleges are rarely found in remote

areas

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Schools

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are the basic

education

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that every child needs.

However

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schools

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are limited in some regions. Based on the data from Badan Pusat Statistik Indonesia,

Pekanbaru

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, the capital city of Riau province, has about 71 public

schools

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, from elementary to high

schools

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, and about ten public and private universities. Meanwhile, Bangkinang, a suburb only one hour’s drive from

Pekanbaru

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, has only 20 public

schools

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and no college. Another example is Siak, about an hour’s drive from

Pekanbaru

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and an hour’s drive from

Pekanbaru

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, only with less than 15

schools

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This

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phenomenon creates an imbalance to make an equal life between a big city and rural

areas

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Therefore

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, the

government

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needs to spend the budget on

this

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area.

To conclude

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education

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and

health

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centers

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centres

show examples

are crucial, and the

government

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needs to improve

this

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field rather than sports

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centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

theaters

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theatres

show examples

Education

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and

health

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are basic societal needs, and the

government

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needs to look for more facilities for these fields in rural

areas

Use synonyms

Submitted by dhiyaghassanif on Wed Dec 04 2024

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coherence

Consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.

task response

Clarify or expand on some of the points made, such as the conditions of healthcare facilities.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task by focusing on healthcare and education.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, with the conclusion reinforcing the main arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

382 words

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Some people argue that the government should spend only on medical care and education, not theaters or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation，such as an unsatisfactory job or lack of money . Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

Some people believe that we should have a four-day working week and still be paid the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree

nowadays, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. why. what can be done to tackle this?