Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children. Discuss both views.

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There are many different ideas about
video
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games
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and their effects on people
esspecially
Correct your spelling
especially
children
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. Some
parents
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put restricted rules against them,
while
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others let their
kids
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be free and use them how they want.
This
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essay is a discussion of both sides of the matter.
To begin
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with, there is the group which considers no side-effects
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
playing
games
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on computers. In detail, people in
this
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category are mostly formed by
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
generation because they have more knowledge in
this
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field themselves. Actually, the reason that
parents
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believe
video
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games
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are harmless
,
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apply
show examples
is the fact that they have either experienced it when they were
kids
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, or they know that
kids
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can play them in their free time, under
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parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
control. In fact, they claim that these types of
games
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are effective in terms of keeping
children
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happy and because of how
accssesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
they are, they can be helpful in today's hectic lifestyles. It should be noted that
video
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games
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can
also
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be harmful
in particular
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ways, and
parents
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should take care of
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children
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their children
show examples
.
For instance
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, when buying a game, the age group of it should be in mind as
games
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from higher age groups, often include violence which is not recommended for underaged
children
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.
Furthermore
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, the time that
kids
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spend on
video
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games
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is important too, and
parents
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have to monitor that, so there
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be enough time left for a child to spend with their family or study for
the
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apply
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school.
On the other hand
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, we have another type of
parents
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who act against all types of
video
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games
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, mostly because they only see the dangers
mentiond
Correct your spelling
mentioned
above. In other cases, it might be caused by the old age of
father
Correct article usage
the father
show examples
and mother, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them not fully understand the benefits of
video
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games
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like keeping
children
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happy and
also
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teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
them
usful
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useful
stuff. Sometimes,
parents
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do not want to take the
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of monitoring
the
Change the word
their
show examples
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
, so they do not allow them
play
Add the particle
to play
show examples
games
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at all. In conclusion, there are some advantages and downsides connected with
video
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games
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. Some people use the benefits and avoid the dangers by looking after their
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
,
while
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others consider them harmful and do not let
the
Change the word
their
show examples
children
Use synonyms
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by Taha Sol. on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, provide more specific examples and evidence to support the points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly introduces a main point and maintains focus throughout to strengthen coherence.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views regarding the effects of video games on children.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the argument, providing clarity on the topic discussed.
coherence cohesion
Transition words are used effectively to guide the reader through the points being discussed, improving overall cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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