some popel think thatfamily life and parents have great influence on chidren development, while other consider that external influenece plays a morte important role in children life, discuss both views and given your opinion

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Some people consider that
parents
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have a significant impact on
children
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's
children
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development
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.
However
Linking Words
, other individuals believe that external influence significant impact on
children
Use synonyms
's behaviour or life. The significance of both views will be analysed and compared here to identify the most convincing observation. one the one hand side, the most important aspect to consider is that
parents
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play significant significant role in
children
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's
development
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.
This
Linking Words
means that
parents
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first mentor their
children
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, and learn moral and ethical values from their
parents
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.
Children
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learn what's right and wrong values from their
parents
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, and learn to respect older citizens. Which leads to becoming good citizens.
Moreover
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, emotional
support
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to
children
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's
children
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by
parents
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.
Parents
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provide multi-nutritional food to
children
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as they cannot eat junk food.
Children
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an entirely focused on studying. Add to
this
Linking Words
, some students prepare for highly competitive examinations
,
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apply
show examples
and feel anxiety during their studies. They need emotional
support
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for their study. it provide by
parents
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, student feel encouraged by the help of their parent.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people believe that
friends
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play a significant role in reducing isolation.
That is
Linking Words
,
parents
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do not have adequate time for their
children
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because they work in different sectors. when
children
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learn social skills with their
friends
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it helps boost their confidence levels.Eventually,
children
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learn social skills with their
friends
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. In conclusion, it can be seen that
parents
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play
an
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apply
show examples
important
roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
role
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in child
development
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such
Linking Words
as
,
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apply
show examples
moral
ethical
Correct word choice
and ethical
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values, physical
development
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and emotional
support
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.
However
Linking Words
, some people believe that
friends
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help reduce anxiety and isolation. I tend to believe that
parents
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provide all kinds of
support
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to
children
Use synonyms
for
development
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by harshdeepmakhan26 on

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task achievement
Ensure to provide equally detailed examples and supporting points for both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and cohesive devices more consistently to improve flow and connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of words or phrases and try to use a variety of vocabulary.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the impact of family and external influences on children's development.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the discussion well, and the conclusion summarizes the points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Influence: having an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone.
  • Development: the process of developing or being developed, such as mental or emotional growth.
  • Moral values: principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.
  • External influences: factors outside of the family that impact a child’s development, such as school, peers, and media.
  • Attachment: an emotional bond between a child and caregiver which can affect a child’s development.
  • Cognitive development: the construction of thought processes, including remembering, problem solving, and decision-making.
  • Peer pressure: influence from members of one's peer group.
  • Social skills: skills for successfully handling social relations and getting along well with others.
  • Media exposure: the extent to which an individual is exposed to media content.
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