In recent times, stress has emerged out to be the major challenge faced by people nowadays. What are the causes of this problem? Suggest some effective solutions for the same.

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Transformation
Correct article usage
The transformation
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of lifestyle ,from traditional one to modern style, over the
last
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century has had its
side-effects
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side effects
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. One of the negative aspects is related to
people
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's mental health;
people
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are more prone to experience
stress
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in their daily lives. Pressure in
workplace
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the workplace
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and widespread stagnant lifestyle are reasons for
this
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phenomenon.
Whereas
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, it can be alleviated by governments' apt actions.
Firstly
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, compared to the past, today,the pace of life is significantly higher , and a huge amount of effort is required to keep up with it. The situation is similar in the
workplaces
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workplace
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, employees have to do multiple tasks in a short period of time.
Consequently
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, doubt
abount
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about
finishing various missions
in
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by
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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specified deadlines causes anxiety.
Secondly
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, modernity is not only about enhancing convenience in our
life
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lives
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, but
by
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apply
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automated tools introduced to our lives,
it has
Wrong verb form
have
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resulted in lazy individuals who are unwilling to be active. The more
people
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adapt
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adopt
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inactive
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an inactive
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lifestyle, the more they will have challenges in doing their jobs.
Therefore
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, they would encounter stressful situations.
However
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, the reasonable policies taken by authorities can soothe these issues. Regular exercise can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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stress
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remarkably;
thus
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, governments can
promote
Verb problem
encourage
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their citizens to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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exercise. In Austria, if you use your bike routinely to commute
your
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to your
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job, you will be paid 400 Euros
at the end
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of the year.
Moreover
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, a rigorous
labor
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labour
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law should be settled in order to have limited work hours.
Then
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people
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can not only do their jobs calmly, but spend more time with their families and friends, which is another factor playing
role
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a role
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in relieving
stress
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.
Overall
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,
although
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obligations to deliver excessive tasks in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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different careers
as well as
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sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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way of living lead to
stress
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to be
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being
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omnipresent in societies, states' appropriate
legislations
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legislation
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would lessen the problems.
Submitted by faraisam33 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, try to ensure each paragraph clearly transitions from one idea to the next. Some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Task Response
Your essay could benefit from more examples when discussing causes and solutions, to strengthen your arguments.
Task Response
While your ideas are generally clear, you could aim to make your argument even more comprehensive with more specific details.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear structure with both causes and solutions addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the main points, strengthening the logical flow of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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