IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart gives information about the
unwoeker
Correct your spelling
worker
 rate in Australia during
Use synonyms
quarters
Correct article usage
the quarters
show examples
 of the year 2012. 
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph illustrates two
areas
Use synonyms
 namely: rural
areas
Use synonyms
 and urban
areas
Use synonyms
 .
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the rate of rural
areas
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped during the period , but there was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 major
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuation
show examples
.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 the rate of urban
areas
Use synonyms
 beginning increased
then
Linking Words
 had been dipped to bottomed out of mid-years .
Initialy
Correct your spelling
Initially
, the first
quarters
Use synonyms
 of rural
areas
Use synonyms
 fell gradually to under 5% .
Then
Linking Words
 levelled off above 5 per cent in the third
quarters
Use synonyms
 .
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 it remained fluctuated in the need of period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
unemploymet
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 situation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 urban
areas
Use synonyms
was rise
Change the verb form
rose
show examples
 dramatically
reach to
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 4 per cent. But, between the second and third
quarters
Use synonyms
 dropped to hit an all-time low to 2 per cent
then
Linking Words
 there was rose dramatically between the third and fourth quarter of the year 2012 to reach under 5%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words quarters, areas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: