IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, what measurements can governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

#water #resource #parts #world #demand #measurements #governments #individuals
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The increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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population around the world has caused several challenges for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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. For limited reservoirs of sweet
water
, demand has soared significantly. Expansive agricultural activities
along with
 global warming are
to
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apply
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issues related to
shortage
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a shortage
the shortage
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in
Change preposition
of
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water
.
Whereas
, it can be alleviated by appropriate policies of states.
Firstly
, In order to provide sustenance for
growing
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a growing
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 number of
human
Change to a plural noun
humans
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, day by day, more wilderness has been transformed
to
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into
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 farms where more crops can be cultivated.
Therefore
, the consumption of
water
, vital for agricultural activities, is a huge amount in
this
 sector. Chinese farmers are the consumers of nearly 70 per cent of
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 resources of the country.
Moreover
,compared to the past when the earth was cooler than today, the emission of greenhouse gases having a significant effect on global warming
is
Verb problem
has
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 remarkably skyrocketed. Following global warming, the precipitation patterns
has
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have
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 been disturbed, and less
snow
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snowfall
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fall
 and
rain
Correct your spelling
rainfall
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fall
 occur in every continent.
Consequently
, the reduction in consumable
water
 has turned
to
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into
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 a dire issue.
However
, By taking apt actions by governments, they can lessen the side effects. One way is replacing traditional irrigation methods with modern irrigation systems, which decreases
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
 usage outstandingly.
This
 can result in
efficient
Correct article usage
the efficient
show examples
 application of
water
 in
cultivation
Add an article
the cultivation
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 process.
Furthermore
, regarding
to
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apply
show examples
irregular precipitation patterns, an outcome of global warming, states can legislate laws to curb greenhouse
gases'
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gases
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emission
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emissions
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.
This
 would reduce
temperature
Add an article
the temperature
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 of the earth ,and
thus
, cooler weather might help to regulate the precipitations.
Overall
,
while
 the notable volume of
water
 resources
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 involved in agricultural processes, and global warming leads to less
rain
Correct your spelling
rainfall
show examples
fall
 and
snow
Correct your spelling
snowfall
show examples
fall
, the shortage in
water
 resources can be lessened by governments' reasonable actions.
Submitted by faraisam33 on

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task achievement
Ensure to diversify the causes beyond just population growth and agriculture to provide a well-rounded answer.
task achievement
Provide additional specific examples or data to better support main points.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to better link your ideas and enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
You addressed both causes and possible solutions to the water shortage problem, meeting the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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